Page 19 of Session 25

“Oh, look who it is. My daughter who likes to get snippy with her mouth.”

“Mom, you know how much stress I had to be under to even do that. I came over here to apologize. Life has been kicking my ass, and well, I know I messed up, so here I am.” She pulled me into her arms.

“Just don’t let it happen again. We are too close for that shit, and you know Ima stand ten toes down behind you. So, fuck Rika’s slimy ass, and if my sister got something to say fuck her, too.” She rolled her eyes. “And I can’t believe Marcel’s ass sat up here as if he was innocent. Is he indulging in the drugs he slanging? I’m confused.”

“Ma please,” she had me laughing from her slick ass remarks. “He’s stupid and thinks a marriage, some flowers, or probably a vacation gonna make me change my mind. I want him so far away from me.”

“Do I need to send Duke?”

“Nah. I can handle him. But therapy has actually been getting me through the tough times.”

“Good. Even though I don’t know why you’d rather pay to sit on a bitch’s couch when you got one right here for free.”

My mother had no filter. She was me just as an older version. If I ever wondered where I got my smart mouth from, she would say some outlandish shit, and I would be reminded. I pray that Marcel already knew not to bring his ass back this way because if Duke was around, I wouldn’t be able to save him. Not that I wanted to anyway.

“It ain’t that deep. Karma is going to play a major role now. I’m not trippin.”

“Come in here and let me feed you. I know you probably haven’t been eating no real food either.” Just like a mother, she was ready to stuff me with food as if that was gonna change anything. “I know you love your shape, and if you gonna find you a new man, then you need to keep your weight up.”

“A new man? Ma please. I am about to put all my focus on myself.”

“What the fuck is this I hear Marcel got Rika’s stupid ass pregnant?” Duke didn’t need to announce himself. The way his voice carried from the hallway to the kitchen was heard, loud and clear.

I frowned before speaking. “Umm, I just found out too. It’s way too much going on right now.”

“Fuck that. Where the nigga at? That shit ain’t about to fly.” Duke and Marcel had a long standing beef. The last thing I needed was for one or both of them to get arrested.

“Duke, he’s not worth it. I just want to be done with him and the situation.” I clasped my hands together. “I just need him out of my space.”

“Bet, so in other words he ain’t trying to leave, huh?” Duke grilled me until I shrugged. “Koi, stop playing wit’ me. You know I’ll knock his bitch ass out.”

“And that’s the problem,” I admitted.

“Duke, don't get involved. I’m sure if she needs you, she will call you. Now Rika, she gonna get fucked up as soon as they say her eyes are open.”

I parlayed at my mother’s apartment for a while. My mind kept going back to when all of this could have started. Was Marcel and Rika fucking behind my back regularly or was this a one time thing? And if he only hit once, where the fuck was the condom? My stomach turned, and I gagged before running to the bathroom to throw up the contents of my Chinese food.

“She better not be pregnant by that nigga,” Duke yelled loud enough for me to hear.

All I thought was if God gave me a kid now that he had a funny way of doing things, and I was clearly the butt of his damn jokes.

“What you calling me for now?” I puffed on the half smoked blunt. “The kid was just born and y’all bitches already on a nigga nerves.” I leaned up against my car with Bear.

“Don’t even start your shit. They are releasing the baby tomorrow, and I’m not about to sit here and raise no baby. My days of raising kids are over. This is when my fun kicks in.” I pulled the phone away from my ear, looked at it with disgust before placing it back to my ear.

“Fuck is you telling me for?” I genuinely needed to know. The test results had come back early this morning, and while I should have been ready to step up and play daddy, I still couldn’t wrap my head around the shit. Rika’s stupid ass was still unconscious, so there was no way I could get in her ass about her choices, so the next thing I did was beg and plead with Koi, but her ass wasn’t budging either.

Before I got up today, she was gone. I was blocked from calling and texting her, so I got dressed and headed to the hood. A fat blunt and a strong drink was all I had on my mind, so Belinda calling my line before noon with this bullshit, had me ready to go off.

“Marcel, I ain’t got time for your immature ass ways. Go get your son, now!” Instead of going back and forth with me, she ended the call. Frustration settled in. The baby was innocent, but getting him from the hospital wasn’t what I was trying to do. Koi already hated me, so the reality of bringing my illegitimate kid into our home was enough to drive her to drink more than she was.

I had noticed the empty bottles of wine in the trash can from the past four days. Hesitant to ask her about her mental health state, I knew she had started this new therapy shit, but I also knew I didn’t want to be the topic of conversation each visit.

“Yo, I gotta go get the damn baby,” I casually told Bear.

“And do what? Take him home? Your ass looking to end up with a bullet in you, I see.”

“Nigga he’s my kid. As much as I hate admitting that shit, he’s my shorty, and I gotta go get him, or they probably gonna give him to them people.” I shook my head. That wasn’t something I was gonna allow. Koi would have to hate me, but leaving a black boy to be raised by the New York foster care system wasn’t happening.