Page 64 of Game Over

Allie let out a low laugh and looked me up and down appreciatively. “You would’ve made one hell of a linebacker, I bet.” She shook her head and latched her burning gaze onto mine. “Your family really fucking sucks though.”

“Alright, let's go ahead and knock the rest of this workout out, and we’ll go anywhere you want the rest of the day.”

Since we decided to do the same lifts and share equipment, we were able to finish in a decent time. We headed back to her house and quickly showered and changed. Watching her dance around her room as she sang to Dolly and got ready warmed my heart. Hearing her sing brought a sense of peace over me.

Her voice wasn’t super high like a lot of female singers, but was lower and fuller. There were times she’d sing, and I’d break out in goosebumps from her voice. You think that people randomly breaking out in song only happened in movies, but that’s where you’d be wrong. It was almost as if she had this constant radio on in her head that only she heard. She’d shuffle through various genres, sometimes only singing a line or two, and move on to another. It was just another thing I loved about her.

After we got ready, we decided to grab some lunch before going to the stores she needed to stop by. Since the weather was starting to cool down and the leaves were changing, everyone was out in town. It was impossible to get anywhere without adding an extra ten or more minutes to what it would normally be. Landing on a drive-thru, we pulled into the store's parking lot to sit and eat so we didn’t have to fight the crowds in a restaurant. While we sat and ate, I looked up apple orchards near us. I figured that was a good first fall date for us since it was starting to feel like autumn. I was able to find one that did pick your own apples, only about thirty minutes away from us. Perfect.

Once we finished, we gathered the trash up to throw it away on the way into the store. I grabbed us a buggy while she headed straight to the little section at the front. I hadn’t even made it to her, and she already had four random items in her arms.

“Look how cute this is! They have all their fall stuff out, and well, I need it.” She shrugged and deposited everything into the buggy.

“Uh-huh. You need it?” I raised my eyebrow at her while looking over the goods she managed to find.

“The store tells me what I need,” she deadpanned, and then turned around to continue to look. This woman.

After she looked through the first section, we made our way to the clothes so she could try to find a sweater for her trip. I was starting to think she didn’t need anything from here with the way she was bouncing from one thing to the next, but it was endearing, so I followed her around. We made it back to the electronics and book section when I noticed she was acting differently.

She was rubbing her thumbs against her other fingers and would ball them into a fist every few seconds. Looking closer, I could see that her breathing was picking up and she had a light sheen of sweat across her forehead. I grabbed her arm and pulled her to the empty back aisle behind the books. She was either about to or was currently having a panic attack.

“Look at me, sweetheart.” I pinched her chin and forced her to look me in the eyes. Tears were starting to build there.

“I-I’m sorry, I don’t—” I cut her off.

“Hey, hey, do not apologize, it’s okay. Listen to me, okay? Tell me five things you see right now.” I wasn’t sure if this technique worked for her or not, but it was worth a shot. Her eyes darted around to what she could see.

“I see, um, I see a new book I’ve been wanting, some collectible items, a nook light.” She looked back at me. “I see your blue eyes and curly hair.”

“Take a deep breath for me.” She kept her eyes locked on mine and took in a shuddering breath and exhaled. “Good girl.” I rubbed my thumb across her bottom lip, and her eyes fluttered closed. “Now tell me four things you hear and continue to take some deep breaths, okay?”

I moved my hand to cup her face, and she nodded but kept her eyes closed. “I hear the TVs playing, some kids are running, I hear some people talking, and someone's work radio, I think?” She took in one last deep breath and then opened her eyes to look at me and nuzzled her face into my palm.

“You okay there, pretty girl?” I asked as I pulled her into my chest to hold her and ground her.

“Yeah, I’m okay, I just…” She took a shuddering breath. “It was overwhelming, and I don’t know why, but it got to me. I’m sorry.” She closed her eyes and tried to pull away.

“Don’t ever apologize for that, sweetheart. I’m sorry I didn’t notice sooner.” I pulled her closer to me and ran my fingers through her dark hair. “If you’re ever in a situation where you feel uncomfortable, overwhelmed, anxious, anything. You tell me, and we leave right then. I don’t care where we are. Your well-being is my top priority, Allie, and how you feel is always going to be valid to me. You don’t have to handle this on your own. I’ll help you anyway I can.” Her lips trembled as she kept her tears at bay that were trying their damndest to break through.

“I just worry, what if you see me at my weakest and you decide it’s too much work? That I’m too much? Too loud, too broken. What if you don’t want me anymore?” Her voice broke at the end with the quiet confession. Those hazel eyes were so vulnerable, and it made me ache knowing that she felt this way. She was so perfect, and I would do anything to show her that.

“Allie Grace, look at me. Let's get one thing straight: I’m not a weak-minded boy who’s going to run the first time you shed a tear or have a low moment. We’re all human, and it happens. Secondly, if I wanted less, I would find less, but I don’t want that. I want you. I want your loudness, your random singing, I want you excitedly telling me about a book you finished, even if I don’t understand it. I want you cuddled up next to me, snoring, because you fell asleep five minutes into a movie you swore you could make it through.”

“I do not snore!” She playfully slapped my chest, and I looked at her.

“That’s what you took from that?” My brows rose to my hairline.

“Sorry, please continue.” She bit her lip to keep from smiling, and I rolled my eyes before continuing.

“Thanks, princess, as I was saying. I want you. All of you. All the parts you want to give me, all the broken parts that I didn’t break, but I damn sure want to help you fix. I want it all, sweetheart, and I’m not afraid of some hard work. Do you understand me?” She swallowed but nodded her head. “Good. Now, why don’t you take another second to take a breather and show me all the books you’ve been wanting to read to distract yourself, and then we can see how you feel and if you want to leave or continue in the store.”

“Yeah, okay, I can do that.” I pulled her back into me, pressing my lips to her forehead, not caring we’ve been standing here having a very personal moment in the middle of a store. She needed me, and that’s what mattered. After a few more minutes, she decided that although she had calmed down, she wanted to get in the car, away from people. I told her I’d finish grabbing what she needed and then I’d be right out.

She reluctantly agreed to let me finish shopping for her and headed out to the car. After she left, I grabbed several of the books she pointed out and stopped to grab some of her favorite candy. After quickly checking out, I headed outside and loaded everything in the back.

“How’re you feeling?” I grabbed her hand and pulled it into my lap.

“I feel better now. Thank you for finishing that up for me. I really appreciate it. I feel guilty…”