Sneaking out is less problematic than I assumed. Dad and Mum have given me a wide berth. Slamming my bedroom door a couple of times for effect also helped, although I must admit, I don’t feel good about it. I’ve never been that person. It goes against everything I’ve been raised to believe in, but it’s too late now. I’ve made my choice. From here on in, it’s not a case of asking for permission, but me begging for forgiveness once I’ve proved to him that he had nothing to worry about.
Alex sits and listens as I disappear into my memories of that night and the days that followed. As I relay the story of what happened, I begin to realise Carolyn probably saved my life that night. If she hadn’t been ill, Montague’s goons might have spirited me away.
“What happened?” Alex asks.
It’s light when Gabriel arrives. There’s a look on his face I’ve never seen before, and he looks pale.
“Where’s Dad?”
Shit, I must be in real trouble if Dad hasn’t come. The party ended hours ago.
“Come on,” he says, his voice catching. “I’m here to take you both home.”
He scoops a still-sick Carolyn off the floor and carries her to his car. He drives in silence, his hands gripping the wheel, his knuckles white. My stomach turns over at the thought of the bollocking I’m about to face. He leaves me in the car while he speaks to Carolyn’s mother, who ushers her inside, glaring at me before she closes the door.
He gets back into the car and his shoulders slump.
“How much trouble am I in?” I ask, staring out of the windscreen.
I watch my brother tilt his head back and close his eyes.
“I’m sorry, I know it was a stupid thing to do,” I say, hoping he understands.
He turns his head, his eyes glistening.
“I’m sorry, Harps,” he says.
I frown. “What are you sorry about? Gabe, what’s going on? Why didn’t Dad come and get me?”
A fluttering starts deep in my chest, strengthening with each passing second.
“It’s Dad. There’s been an accident.”
I stare at him, my head shaking from side to side.
“But he’s okay?” I say, but the pressure in my chest and the tears that are now tracking their way down his cheeks tell me otherwise.
“We need to get home,” he says, moving to start the car.
I catch his hand in mine.
“No, tell me.”
He stops, wiping his face with his palms.
“Please,” I say.
“Dad.”
“Dad what? Where is he?” I say, my whole body going cold.
“Dad’s dead, Harper.”
I draw in a breath, but it doesn’t reach my lungs. Instead, it feels like I’m suffocating.
Gabe grabs my cheeks. “Harper, you need to breathe… fuck.”
I open and close my mouth, but nothing helps, the pressure of the outside world too harsh.