Page 51 of Beast

That beast inside is starting to annoy me. If only the beastdidn’t make so much sense. “I want to help. This is my family, too.”

“Well, I thank you for that,” Meg replies. “We need all thefriends we can get. I can’t tell you how much it terrifies me. We don’t have anarmy.”

Oh, but they will. If rumors are correct, they will have anarmy of peasants waiting for their return to Tír na nÓg. Peasants can bedangerous. I can’t help but think of my plane’s own history. “We need to findTorin’s weaknesses. We need to get on that plane and start getting the peopleready for the true kings’ return.”

“He has it guarded,” Meg says with a helpless shake of herhead.

“We’ll find a way.” My mind is filled with possibilities.

Meg pats my leg. “I don’t want to think about this now. It’scoming for me soon enough. Tell me about Kaja. You two seem to be gettingalong.”

“Yes, she’s a lovely woman.” My chest feels too tight foranother reason now. Kaja is so much deeper, smarter, more complex than Ithought. I thought I could make a deal with her, but I don’t have anything Kajawill want. She doesn’t even really understand the concept of money. What do Ihave to offer her except money she doesn’t need and an impressive cock?

“When I make love to Kaja, I can feel her,” I admit quietly.It isn’t something I expected. No one had warned me in sex ed class about somemystical connection that would form when I make love to my consort.

“Well, I would hope so,” Meg says.

I don’t want to exchange sarcastic remarks with her. “I meanI can feel her past or her soul or something. Sometimes it’s flashes of herhistory, like a movie in my head, except that I am her and I feel what shefelt. I know what it was like to be Kaja, and it sucked before, but she’s stillhere and still trying. I don’t know if I would still be trying.”

Meg’s face bunches in concern. “I didn’t think that happenedbetween vampires and consorts. I thought that was something that only happenedbetween bondmates and psychic Fae.”

Bondmates tend to boost the powers of psychic Fae, and inMeg’s case, she actually bridges her husbands’ shared soul so they each haveaccess to the other half. “I don’t know why. I only know it’s happening andit’s gotten harder to shut it down. Every time I feed, it gets harder andharder to put a wall between us.”

Meg studies me for a moment. “Kaja isn’t from a plane weknow a lot about. Maybe her bonding powers are different from others. Maybethat’s why the connection is different. Why would you try to shut it down?”

I don’t even like to admit that to myself. “I didn’t marryKaja because I wanted to. My father forced me to. I had to get married or hewas going to kick me out of the business.”

“Well, I suppose lots of marriages start off as marriages ofconvenience. So you explained all this to Kaja?”

Not exactly. “I told her that we would be married for awhile and then she could have her freedom back.”

There it is. I can say the words, but there’s somethinginside me that knows I’m not going to let her go. I’m really only fightingmyself now.

Meg pulls her hand back, and I can see her withdraw. “Well,that’s disappointing. I thought there wasn’t a whole lot of divorce outside theEarth plane.”

“I wasn’t planning on divorcing her. I was planning on goingmy own way and letting Kaja go hers.”

Meg’s head shakes slightly, but I can feel her derision.“After you slept with her and fed from her. And does Kaja understand this?”

I think about Kaja’s eyes. When I make love to her they’relit with desire and life. But then I’ll catch her when she thinks no one islooking, and there’s resignation there, as though she knows it won’t work out.“I think she understands far too well.”

“So, you’re going to use her.”

Yes, that was the plan. “I don’t know anymore.”

“Really?” Meg looks at me again, her right brow rising inquestion.

“Yeah. I don’t know what I’m doing, but I know I feel morefor her than I’ve ever felt for anyone in my life. I don’t know if it’s goingto last.” I don’t even know if I want it to. Kaja seems to be all I can thinkabout. She’s rapidly becoming an obsession. Even now, I can see her laying inthe grass, her pearly skin in sharp contrast to the green around her, the twinholes in her neck on full display. When I get her back home, I’ll have to giveher some of my own blood. It will heal the marks, but damn, I like looking atthem. It’s barbaric. It’s fucking hot.

“Uh, Dante, you having some trouble there?” Meg asks, hereyes on my mouth.

Fuck. My fangs are out again. This is why I don’twant this passion to last. I can’t walk around the rest of my life with ahard-on and full fangs—and this weird, soft place in my heart that clenchesevery time I look at her or think about all she’s been through.

She’s so strong. “She deserves more than me.”

Meg shakes her head, her hand back on my knee. “No. Shedeserves you, but she deserves the best you. Don’t you see? This is whathappens. I’ve been where you are. I fell in love, and it changed me for thebetter. It forced me to grow up. It made me a better person. This is wonderful,Dante.”

It doesn’t feel wonderful. It feels terrifying. I shouldhave found another way. I should have paid some fallen royal to marry me. Shewould have been reasonable. I wouldn’t have been desperate for some randomroyal’s blood and body. I wouldn’t have formed this weird connection to somesad-sack royal. It would have been a neat exchange of money for a convenient,no-emotions-involved marriage. I wouldn’t feel all twisted inside.