Page 48 of Beauty

The window slams shut. I am so much more than nothing. I amthe revolution, but perhaps I waited too long. Leaning against the door, I feelmy head swimming. Not enough sleep. Not enough food. Not enough life.

I spent too much time in my dreams. I wanted to be somewhereelse for so long I neglected the here and now. Shim and Lachlan are dreams.They’re a way out of my destiny, and now that I’m finally ready to face it,I’ll probably get my ass fried in a fire.

My brothers won’t know. They’ll always think I died at thepalace. They won’t know I was burned at the maypole—the stake.

Half an hour passes, the minutes ticking by like molassesdripping off a spoon toward a well-cooked piece of bread. I drink more water.Eat the last of the bread. Slow. So slow. I’m able to go over most of my life.I’m shocked to realize how much of it I spent in dreams. When I look back on mylife, I see the times Cian played with me and my mother rocked me, stroking myhair during thunderstorms. I remember holding Da’s hand as we walked throughthe streets of the village. But mostly I see Shim and Lach. I see them as children,laughing and playing through fields of golden wheat and swimming on a pebbledbeach, the ocean water foaming around them. There were mermaids in the waters,but we didn’t worry about it because mermaids only called to the unfaithful andthe unwary. We played and played, telling secrets and stories. Stories I heardbut could barely remember the next day. When I began to gain my womanhood, thedreams changed. My Dark Ones started to touch me. Little glancing strokes atfirst and then a kiss here and there. My cheeks and my forehead and sweetlyenough, my nose. Finally they pressed a mouth to mine. A tongue caressed andthen…

Death.

So long was the darkness. The aloneness. It was worsebecause for so long I was with them. And then the connection was cut as thoughit never existed.

Years passed. I ran and ran. So many provinces. So many newfaces.

I was scared, reaching out every night for that connection Icounted on all my life. Nothing, until one night, a tendril reached back, likea light in the darkness. I reached for it and finally I saw them. They weren’tsolid at first, but I felt a touch, a caress that made my skin light up.

Six years passed in loneliness and then another three in afrustrating reaching. I would grasp and then the dream would be gone, like aghost that never really existed. Every morning I awoke aware that I didn’t getwhat I wanted and then…

That kiss.

My whole life—the happy part—plays out in a long dream.

I gave up everything for a damn dream.

There’s a scratch at my door.

“They’re coming.”

Niall’s voice.

“What should I do?” I kneel before the door. It’s time tomake my play, but I feel so tired. My hands shake slightly. The world is a bitfuzzy. Am I starting to panic?

“I don’t know.” The words are hesitant. “They’re comingearly. It was supposed to happen at noon. It’s only ten.”

Micha is running early. He probably thinks that if he canget rid of me, Gillian will stop her assault. He’ll burn me before the townshipis up and able to protest that I didn’t get a fair trial. I didn’t even see thetown magistrate.

I made a terrible mistake. Micha upped the timeline becausenow he doesn’t want me talking. Goddess, I’m terrible at this. Horrible. Idon’t know what to do except to try. I won’t be walked to my execution calmly.Dignity isn’t going to help me. Besides, no one is gathered. No one will bearwitness. And no one will help me.

They all turned their backs.

I’ll fight until the flames take me.

“They’re coming, Your Highness. Please don’t call attention.I have a plan. Someone has run to tell Gillian.” Niall’s voice is thin throughthe cracks of the door, and then the only sound I hear is the hard thud ofboots against the floor.

The door slams open, and I’m faced with two of the largestguards in the village. They’re each a foot taller and have a hundred pounds onme, but they’re armed to the teeth, as though I’m the most dangerous criminalon the plane. They each hold a sword and carry knives on their belts.

I know how to use a knife. I can certainly get one of them,but can I get both?

Niall begged me not to draw attention. There’s some plan inplace.

Your Highness. Goddess, Niall called me “YourHighness.”

“Isolde, are you going to come quietly or should we cut outthat pretty tongue of yours right here?” Arik, the older of the two guards,asks.

“I think we should have a bit of fun with her before shegoes out. Seems a shame to leave this life without ever knowing the touch of aman.” Tir leers at me.

Arik holds out a hand. “Don’t touch that one. You weren’there yesterday. It’s best that one goes out in the flames. Come on, wench. Timeto go.”

I take a deep breath and make my decision. I’ll give Niallsome time. He knows something. Gillian brought him in on the secret, and thatmeans Gillian trusts him. I nod to my captors and smooth out my dress beforestepping forward to follow them.