Page 32 of Wilde Hearts

Leaning forward, I lowered my voice. “Really, Colt. You say you still love me, but I call bullshit, because I’ve seen what real love is—with my parents, with yours, with my siblings and their partners…hell, with all my old friends, who’ve all pretty much gotten married and had kids. And here I am, still single because I gave my heart to a bastard who left me heartbroken. So you’ll have to forgive me when I insist you couldn’t have loved me, Colt. You couldn’t have, because a person who loves someone doesn’t leave them alone and hurting. Confused and wondering for years what the hell they did to push you away.”

“You didn’t do anything, Pip.”

“Stop!” I cried out, then quickly squeezed my eyes shut and lowered my voice again. “Stop calling me that.”

When I opened my eyes, Colt had tears in his—and it felt like I’d just run into a brick wall.

I shook my head and stood. “I can’t do this.”

I could hear Colt rushing to get everything, and I pushed the door open and drew in a deep breath of fresh air.

“I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Turning to look at him, I asked, “What did you think would happen, Colt? You’ve been gone for ten years, and you suddenly show back up and I’m supposed to just welcome you with open arms?”

“Of course, I don’t think that. But I’d hoped that you would at least talk to me. Let me try to explain why I left.”

“You couldn’t do that ten years ago? Or anytime in between? Just call me and say, I don’t know…like maybe, ‘Hey, Ensley, I’m having a really hard time here, and I think I need some time away.’”

“No! Because you needed me, and my parents needed me, and it was my fault Grady killed himself. I wasn’t thinking clearly, Ensley!”

I took a step back. I’d never heard Colt raise his voice. Ever. “What do you mean, it was your fault? It wasn’t anyone’s fault, Colt.”

He closed his eyes and let out a long breath. When he opened them again, he glanced around. “This isn’t the place for this conversation. Once my father is settled back at home, I would really like a chance to sit and talk to you, but…if I had stayed, I wouldn’t have been able to deal with the guilt. Knowing I was the reason he…” Colt closed his eyes again.

Every part of me wanted to tell him no. That the time for talking was long gone. But the sadness in his eyes when he opened them again caused me to nod and whisper, “Okay.”

A look of relief washed over his face. “Thank you.” He sighed and held up the bag in his hand. “I should get this food to my folks.”

I nodded once again and turned to start walking back to the hospital. Neither one of us said a word; we simply walked side by side until we reached Jacob’s room. Once inside, Lynn started to bombard us with questions.

“How was lunch?”

“It was good,” Colt said, as he handed the food to his mother and father.

“Did you get to talk?” she asked with a smile.

Colt and I exchanged a quick look, neither of us answering, before I turned and walked over to the love seat to sit down.

“Do you know when exactly you’ll be cut free, Dad?” Colt asked, pulling a chair closer to the side of the bed. I felt bad that we’d both ignored Lynn, but she really needed to just let this go.

“Some time tomorrow. Probably more like early afternoon.”

“Is there anything you need to have at the house before you get home?” I asked.

Lynn smiled at me. “That’s so sweet of you, Ensley. I was going to have Colt stop at the store on the way home, but if you don’t mind, sweetheart, I’ll give you the list.”

“I don’t mind at all. I was going to head back to River Falls this evening, so I can swing by the store and get everything. Do you need any laundry or anything done while I’m there?”

Lynn looked at Colt, then back to me. “If you wouldn’t mind putting fresh sheets on Colt’s bed, that would be amazing.”

The last thing I wanted to do was set one foot into his bedroom. The memories would assault me within seconds. I forced a smile. “I don’t mind at all.”

The next thing I knew, Lynn was making a list—on paper, because she refused to do anything like that on her phone.

“You know where all the sheets are. I have them all marked in the little cases you bought for me that one Christmas. The ones for Colt’s bedroom have his name on them.”

I snuck a quick look over at Colt. He looked down at the floor, and I knew he was feeling guilty for not visiting his family for ten years. Good. He should feel guilty.