“It doesn’t work like that,” I mutter.
“It does,” she insists. “Mama says kisses make pain go away and she sings me a song when I can’t sleep because of pain. I’ll sing you that song.”
I want that to be true.
I want it so badly that for a second, I believe her. She sits back down, scooting close. Her lips meet the bruise, and she sings softly. “Sad moon… You who see her, let her know. That I am dying unintentionally.”
I almost smile. It’s a lullaby, not some song. She looks up at me and smiles.
“I’ll fix your bruises. Even when we’re big,” she says proudly.
“You won’t even remember,” I say, trying to sound older. “People don’t stay forever.”
“Yes, they do,” she argues. “I will. I’m your bestest friend.”
“No, you’re not,” I say automatically.
She gasps, hurt, and her eyes go glassy. Panic hits me.
“I mean…” I scramble. “You are. You are my best friend.” She brightens, wiping her nose on her sleeve.
“I knew it! I knew it!”
She throws her arms around my shoulders so hard that we both fall backward onto the floor. Her hair hits my face. I forget to breathe.
No one has ever hugged me like this. Not even Mama.
She pulls back, cheeks flushed, and whispers, “When I grow up, I want to be with you forever.”
My heart does something strange. Maybe I have a disease.
“You don’t know what forever is,” I manage to say.
“Yes, I do. Forever means never leaving. Even if you cry. Or get mad. Or if monsters come.”
“Monsters are real,” I say quietly, thinking of Papa.
“I know,” she whispers. “But if you’re scared of them, I’ll stand in front of you.”
“Why would you do that?” I ask, genuinely confused.
Her eyes sparkle. “Because you’re my Zagreus.”
My throat tightens, and I look away.
But this little girl is already dragging me toward her pile of dolls.
“Come on! Let’s play house. You’ll be the papa; I’ll be the mama!”
“I don’t want to be a papa,” I mumble.
“You have to.” She’s adamant. “Because you have a papa.”
That shuts me up.
She puts a tiny plastic baby in my lap. It rolls off. She giggles and puts it back. “Hold him nicely!”
“I don’t know how,” I admit. I’ve never played with dolls before, except for the few times I’ve visited Selene’s house with Mama.