Page 21 of Book Bae

I had been considering intrauterine insemination for a while. Last year, I took steps to research what I needed to do to make it happen. My insurance did not cover the expenses, so I started saving on my own. Last month, I was satisfied that I had more than enough money to start the process, so I scheduled my first visit for today. I was excited about starting the process of having a child, my own family.

Symone, who sat on my right, grabbed my hand and gave it a little squeeze as Dr. Cotton applied the gel on my belly.

I turned my gaze toward Symone, and she gave me a tight smile. “Breathe, girl. You’re going to have a baby soon,” she whispered.

“Then why do you look like you’re worried?”

“Girl, I ain’t worried. You know how they say you’re supposed to laugh with your friends, rejoice with them, mourn with them, and cry with them? Girl, this just me being anxious with you—that’s what besties do. Now chill ya ass so we can get on with this.”

I laughed and shook my head at her.

Time seemed to tick by slowly, and it felt like I was on that exam table for an hour, but in reality, it was only a couple of minutes. I whispered prayers to God, asking Him to help me please be able to conceive. My journey may not have been natural, but I was getting older, and I desperately wanted a baby.

In high school and college, I was focused on my studies and eventually networking. I knew that I wanted to start my own business, and I knew that would take hard work, dedication, and sacrifice. My sacrifice was marriage and kids.

My business was thriving, my financial portfolio was strong, and my family relationships and friendships were great. The only thing missing in my life was a good man and children. If I couldn’t find a good man, I would definitely give myself the gift of a child.

Dr. Cotton sighed. “First, let me start by saying that it has been a pleasure meeting you. I often anticipate the journey that my patients will embark on; sometimes it will be successful and others not. It is often a road filled with bumps along the way. Unfortunately, our journey together ends here, Ms. Nicholson.”

“I don’t understand.” I looked from Dr. Cotton to Symone, as though my best friend knew the secret that Dr. Cotton was withholding. Her face was scrunched up in more confusion than I was sure mine was. My heart tightened in my chest, and it felt like I’d stopped breathing.

“Second, let me say that congratulations are in order. With all the examinations we performed today, your bloodwork and urine sample led me to do the ultrasound. You’re pregnant, Myraj.”

“Pregnant!” Symone shouted.

“P-p-pregnant? That’s impossible. I can’t be. I haven’t had sex in⁠—”

“Sixteen weeks,” she finished for me.

“I was gonna say four months, but how did you know?”

“That’s how far along you are. Here’s your baby.”

I pushed up on my elbows, and my eyes damn near bulged out of my head when she turned the monitor around for Symone and me to see. My head spun as I took in the details of a fully formed fetus on the screen.

“Here are your baby’s legs and arms. This is your baby’s head. Your baby’s head is turned away from us. This little one is shy.”

My heart thundered loudly in my chest, and I couldn’t hear a word that she was saying. I felt Symone’s squeeze my hand and vaguely heard her squeals of joy. Slowly, my heartbeat slowed down and became less voluminous in my mind and ears.

“Are you okay, Myraj?” Dr. Cotton asked.

“I—I don’t know.”

“This is what you wanted, honey,” Symone declared.

“It is. I’m just, . . . I don’t know. I mean, I’m happy, but I’m stunned.”

“It’s a lot to take in if you had no idea,” Dr. Cotton stated.

“Is my baby healthy? I haven’t been doing anything that would be in his or her best interest. I’ve had a glass of wine at least three times in the last four months.”

“Yes, your baby appears healthy. More tests can be run to confirm that, but all appears well. Would you like to know the baby’s gender?”

Tears popped in my eyes as I realized that my dream was about to come true.

I bobbed my head, unable to formulate words. Symone patted my cheek and kissed the top of my head. “You’re gonna be okay, friend.”

I watched as the wand moved around on the screen until she was positioned just right to declare, “You’re having a little girl.”