Page 55 of Road Refugees

Chapter Nineteen

Heaven

Town still hadn’t returned by dinnertime.

I even moronically called his phone, only to have it ring in my bra.

“Duh,” I muttered to myself, sitting at my place at the table instead of serving the men zucchini. They wouldn’t mind about missing zucchini since I’d already served the pork loin roast. I often gave them shit about having “all-meat dinners.”

Tobiah was the first to remark. He was hunched over his plate, elbows on table as though protecting it from marauders. With his bowl haircut, he could’ve been another serving of meat. “What’s wrong?”

“Oh.” I put Town’s phone on the table. “Town isn’t usually this late. And he told me to keep his phone before he left.”

Now all the men frowned.

“That’s bizarre,” said Slappy, chunks of pork dangling from the roof of his mouth. “Why would he do that?”

I said, “He acted very mysterious. Said I’d find out soon. Something about a surprise for me.”

Tobiah held out his hand for Town’s phone. I slid it down the table to him.

Crybaby said, “That doesn’t sound like Town. I mean, the surprise part, sure. But giving you his phone?”

Everyone was temporarily silent while Tobiah thumbed Town’s phone. Then, without taking his eyes from the device, he got up and walked like a slow zombie to where he’d set up a temporary command post. He’d pushed the pool table against the wall in what I called the “rumpus room.” Everyone laughed at that designation, I’m not sure why. Tobiah sat at his rolling chair and typed a bunch of shit into his desktop. All I can say it was a “bunch of shit,” because I had no clue how computers worked. Tobiah had given me a few lessons on a laptop so I could read the world news—and Buzzfeed. I was addicted to that, although I had no clue who ninety percent of the celebrities were. I liked the quizzes.

Slappy, however, seemed to know what Tobiah was doing. “He’s looking up the numbers Town last called.”

“Right,” Tobiah said vaguely. By now, everyone had stopped eating, even my pork loin roast with garlic, tarragon, and white wine. I held my breath, clinging to Tobiah’s response like the smell of frying. “What time did he hand you his phone?”

I thought. “Twelve forty-five or so.”

“Okay. The last number that called him was a burner phone. It was purchased by someone at the Pure and Easy Target.”

Slappy leaned over so far, I thought he’d tumble from his chair. “You can’t tell who bought it?”

“Hang on.”

The three of us eyeballed each other in complete silence.

At length Tobiah said, “Guy named Irv Beagle.”

We continued staring at each other until Slappy broke the silence. He stood up so suddenly he did knock his chair over, and he stomped over to Tobiah, his cloth napkin dangling from his belt. “What kind of a fucking name is Irv Beagle? Is this for real?”

Tobiah held up both his palms as though Slappy was a knife slasher. “Hey, hey, don’t ask me. That’s what it says.”

Slappy pointed a stiff finger at Tobiah’s screen. “Well, can you find out who this fucktard is?”

“I’m on it,” said Tobiah. But instead of mousing on his desktop, he reached for his own cell phone. Once again, we all shared ashen looks. “Yes, I’d like to speak to the head of Security. Thanks.”

Slappy looked at me. “Who’s he calling?”

“Target?” I suggested.

This turned out to be a genius idea. Tobiah said, “Yes, this is Sergeant Normal Acres of the Pure and Easy Homicide Unit. We believe there may have been some foul play in your back alley earlier today. I’d like to take a look at your security footage. Yes. Mm-hmm. Certainly, Paul. I’ll send you verification immediately. What’s your email?”

Now the three of us looked at each other in awe. What sort of cool game was Tobiah playing? How on earth could he get Paul to believe he was seriously Normal Acres? Especially since he had such a goofy voice to go along with his goofy looks.

But while Tobiah emailed Paul, my nerves creeped up on me, and I headed to the kitchen for a glass of wine. I had been drinking wine rather than brandy, and much less of it than the old days, but right now, I needed that crutch.