Page 23 of A Laird and a Fugitive

Chapter 9

Caroline stared into Ryan’s eyes. The unflinching, implacable look had softened. Somehow, touching him directly and being touched by him made him more real. No longer was he simply an obstacle. No longer was he only a barrier to her freedom, but he was a genuine person with his own agenda, his own desires and ambitions.

If she was going to get anything she wanted out of this marriage, then she was going to have to understand these things. It was going to be difficult, though, especially when she wasn’t sure she understood herself any longer. Her driving force had always been to keep her sisters safe, but then she had been faced with the opportunity to see their captor killed. She and Nessa could have found Tara and fled. Their ordeal would have been over and they would have known freedom. Instead, she condemned them to returning to this place.

Nessa had been furious with her, and rightly so. Caroline wondered if she would ever regain the trust of her sisters again.

But Nessa and Tara were far from her mind. Ryan was cupping her cheek, and his warm flesh was taut beneath her fingers. She could feel the strength and the power running through his body, his vigor being carried by the blood that seeped out of his wound. To see him like this stirred a nurturing sensation within. He was bleeding, vulnerable, showing her that he wasn’t some indomitable force, but that he was just a man.

He could die like any other.

The candlelight framed the hard angles of his face. His lips were full, and they were angled in a kind of smirk. His neck was thick, and he radiated strength. However, now that she was so close, it wasn’t as intimidating as before. There was something in his eyes, something that seemed yearning and haunted. He was a man alone in this castle, and she was intrigued by what had caused this. What secrets lay buried in his past, and how had he come to be the man he was today?

He was her enemy, but he was also going to be her husband, and if she were to stand any chance of prospering in this new life, she was going to have to learn about all of these things. Her natural curiosity guided her as well. All the rumors described him as a cruel, merciless man who led a clan that valued their solitude and treated outsides violently. They were isolated, and it was said that the Laird showed no patience with anyone. After their first meeting, she could well have believed this, but now she wasn’t so sure.

The man before her was the one who had chased after her, who had killed bandits to protect her. Granted, this was only after she had deigned to be his wife, and she had yet to learn why it was so important to him that she in particular was to fill this role, but it still showed that he was capable of nuanced thought.

He could have left them to their fate, but instead he had come after them. It hadn’t escaped her notice how he had reacted when the bandit grabbed her, either. Fury had filled his eyes, and she got the sense that he wanted to protect her more than anything. Could she dare hope that he might develop a genuine kinship towards her, or was she merely deluding herself to soften the impact of her impending marriage?

She finished dressing the wound and Ryan stood up, stretching his arm. He rearranged his shirt and as he did so, revealed scars from previous battles. Caroline was unable to look away. She traced them all with her eyes, even though she only had a brief glimpse. The touch of warmth lingered on her cheek as well, even after he took his hand away, and the sensation of his taut skin remained on her fingertips.

Ryan poured her some wine, placing the goblet in front of her. Caroline picked it up with trembling hands and sipped the dark liquid, hoping that it would quell the undulating thoughts in her mind. The door to the study was ajar, but for the time being she did not wish to escape. Ryan was a dangerous man, but at the moment she did not think she was in immediate danger, and so she wanted to take the opportunity to learn about this brute of a man who struck fear in the hearts of any man who found themselves trespassing in his territory.

“Are the rumors about ye true?” she asked, her voice hitching with uncertainty.

“And what rumors would they be?” he asked, his eyes glazing over. He leaned against the far wall. The distance between them seemed vast, and yet somehow she felt that if she lifted her hand she would touch him again, as though an invisible thread would be drawn, bringing them together.

“That ye kill anyone who trespasses on yer land, and ye kill them in a violent way. That ye show nae mercy tae anyone who wrongs ye.”

Ryan sipped his drink and looked away. “I believe that without fear, people will nae respect ye. I will nae hae bandits thinking that they can run through my territory and dae whatever they want. My people feel safe. They know that I will always defend them and their land. Hae I hanged people for trespassing? Aye, but I doubt I hae hanged as many men as people seem tae think. But, sometimes what people believe is more powerful than the truth,” he rolled his shoulders as he spoke. It was a cunning way to think.

“Why dae ye keep yer borders sae well-defended?”

“As I said, I want my people tae feel safe. The Highlands are wild and if ye are nae careful, a disaster can befall a clan. I hae worked hard tae maintain a sense of control over my land. I dinnae want anything tae jeopardize that.”

“And yet ye are willing tae make an outsider yer wife. Why dae ye want tae marry me?”

“Because it’s time for me tae take a wife.”

Caroline sensed that he was holding something back. She tilted her head to the side and placed the goblet back on the table, next to the candle. She didn’t want to give him any further advantages. She could already feel the dizzying feeling in her mind. It hadn’t helped that the night had been a long one already. She feared that sleep was not going to bless her.

“But ye could hae any wife. Why force me intae the marriage? Ye hae a clan filled with women, and since ye are a Laird ye could use yer position tae arrange a marriage. I refuse tae believe that ye were waiting for a woman tae stumble ontae yer doorstep.”

Ryan smirked at the thought. “And ye would be right tae dae sae.”

He placed his goblet down and pushed himself off from the wall, striding towards her. He closed the distance with dramatic speed, and, suddenly, he filled her vision. His breath drifted towards her, warm and soaked with wine. His gaze was as intense as ever and seemed to drill down to her very soul. Now that he was standing, she was forced to tilt her head back once again. Even though she was on her feet, it felt as though she was on her knees.

“Sae why dae ye want tae marry me? What is it ye hope tae accomplish? There are many rumors about ye, but after seeing ye taenight I dinnae believe ye are cruel for cruelty’s sake, and I dinnae think that ye would want tae spend yer life with a woman who hates ye.”

“Dae ye hate me?”

The question whipped through the air, and the fact that she didn’t immediately respond shocked and surprised her. She almost felt as though she was betraying herself. As it happened, Ryan was not expecting an answer. He continued speaking, but something changed about him. His eyes became hard again, as though winter passed through his soul and made him icy.

“How much dae ye know about the rivalry between our clans?”

“I know that we hae been enemies for many years. I assume it’s because of territory disputes. There never seems tae be enough land tae gae around. Tae be honest, I never thought much of it. It may surprise ye, but I hae never spent a lot of time thinking about war. There are far more pleasant things tae occupy my time.”

“Aye, I’m sure there are. But if ye hae paid attention, then perhaps ye would understand my motivations better. Ye see, Caroline, I know who ye are.” He raised a finger and the thick tip was pointed towards her. “More importantly, I know who yer Da is. Did he ever come back from battle and tell ye about his glorious victory? Did he tell ye about all the men he killed and the blood he spilled?”