Page 201 of Operation: Defiance

Slowly, I lower myself onto his length. My body adjusts to his girth, sparks of not-quite-pain accompanying the stretching of parts of me that have been ignored for far too long.

I roll my hips slowly. Asher’s eyelids flutter, and in the endless depth of his pupils, I find something more than just…want. I find connection. He’s not my protector or my rescuer, but the man who gave me the chance to find myself again.

Asher

She’s straddling me, and I let myself look—really look—the way I haven’t let myself until now. One of her hands is warm on my shoulder. The other is braced on the headboard, knuckles pale with the effort of keeping her weight off her ribs. She’s still calculating. Even here. Even now.

I love that about her.

I want to tighten my hold on her hips. God, I want to. It’s a physical thing, the wanting—pressure behind my sternum, heat under my skin—and it’s got nothing to do with this and everything to do with her. But she’s setting the terms tonight. If I have anything to say about it, she always will be.

“Raine—” The word is rough, dragged from somewhere deeper than I intend.

She trails her fingers along my cheek, learning me the way she learns everything. “Is this…okay?”

How can she not know? That she’s perfect. That I’d destroy the whole damn world and start over to end up here again. That “okay” isn’t even in the same hemisphere as what this is.

I nod. I don’t trust my mouth right now. If I open it, I won’t stop.

She holds my gaze, reading me the way she reads everything that matters to her. Days ago, she didn’t trust her own body. Tonight, she’s trusting me. I don’t know what I did to earn it. But I’ll make damn sure I deserve it.

I slide my hands to her waist. Carefully. I’m watching everything—every shift of her weight. Every breath. The way her lips part. The way her lashes drop and then lift again, like she’s choosing to stay present every minute. The gold flecks in her eyes catch the low light.

She moves, and I stop thinking in full sentences.

I breathe. I hold on. I keep my eyes on her face because that’s what stops me from losing the thread entirely—her, right here, looking back at me. I haven’t wanted something this much in longer than I can remember, and I’m not going to wreck it by taking more than she’s giving.

When she moves again, I let go—not of control, but of what’s underneath it. The fear of getting it wrong. Of being one more thing that costs her.

I trust her to tell me if I do. I trust myself not to.

Raine leans down, her nipples brushing my chest, and kisses me like I matter. I go still and let her set the pace, the pressure, every significant decision.

“Follow my lead.”

Those three little words got us here. I didn’t know her then. I do now, and I’d follow her anywhere.

I skim one hand down to her ass, and catch her soft whimper against my mouth.

Raine moves faster now. She tightens her grip on the headboard for leverage, and takes me deeper with each thrust.

“I need…to come,” she says breathlessly. “I’m…close.”

I reach between us, finding her clit soaking wet, and with just a hint of pressure, her entire body shudders and her eyelids flutter. “Asher…”

The way she says my name is enough to undo me. I’ve lost myself to her—the feel of her, the sound of her, the fucking miracle of her choosing me.

Her channel tenses, and the pressure starts low in my balls. I won’t last more than another few seconds, but with one last swipe of my thumb to her clit, I send Raine flying, and tumble off the edge behind her.

We’re tangled together, and my entire world narrows to the feel of Raine’s cheek against my chest. She has her arm draped over my waist, and my hand rests over her lower back.

“This doesn’t change what I have to do,” she says. “What comes next.”

“No. It can’t.” It takes everything I have not to tighten my hold. If it wouldn’t destroy all the trust she’s given me, ruin any hope of a future together, I’d beg her to get in the car with me right now and run.

“But it changes how I do it.” She tilts her head to meet my gaze. “You’re part of it now. You always were. I just couldn’t see how much until every minute stopped being about survival.”

I brush a light kiss to her forehead. “I’m with you, Raine. However you’ll have me.”