Page 6 of Captain Jack’s Woman

Kit’s eyes widened. “Innocent? Did I tell you I lost my innocence one fine summer evening on my Uncle Frederick’s terrace?”

Amy gaped.

Kit shook her head. “Not physically. But I found out what most men think of love that night. I grant your George may be different—there are exceptions to every rule. But I’ve learned that it’s women who fall in love and men who take advantage of our weakness. I’ve no intention of succumbing.”

“What happened on your uncle’s terrace?”

Kit grimaced. “I was eighteen. Can you remember what eighteen felt like? I suppose I’d started to get over leaving Cranmer. My uncles and aunts had already been urging me to marry. Then, miraculously, I found myself in love. Or so I thought.” Kit paused, eyes fixed on the ceiling, then she drew a deep breath. “He was beautiful—a captain of guards, tall and handsome. Lord George Belville, the second son of a duke. He said he loved me. I was so happy, Amy. I don’t think I can explain what it felt like, to have someone who really cared about me again. I was…oh—as you are now. Over the moon with joy. My aunts gave a ball, and Belville said he’d use the opportunity to ask my uncle for my hand. They disappeared into the library midway through the evening. I was so excited, I couldn’t bear not knowing what was being said. So I slipped out on the small terrace and listened outside the library windows. What I heard—” Her voice broke. She drew another breath and forged on. “All I heard was them laughing at me.”

Amy’s hand found hers amid the bedcovers; Kit barely noticed. “It was all deliberate. They’d presented me with four suitors up till then, all much older men, none particularly attractive. My aunts had decided I was too much of a romantic—tainted with the wildness of my father’s and mother’s blood was the way they put it—to accept such eminently suitable alliances. So they’d searched out Belville. He was as ambitious as they were. He was destined for some position in military affairs, something high, organized through his connections. Through our marriage, he’d get the backing of my uncles in furthering his career. They’d get his support in furthering theirs. I was the token to cement their alliance. It was all made perfectly clear while I listened. Belville spoke of how easy it had been to ensnare me.”

Kit stretched her arms out, forcing her long fingers to straighten from the claws they’d curled into. She uttered a hollow laugh. “They were so sure of themselves. When I refused Belville the next day, they couldn’t believe it.”

Abruptly, she sat up, swinging about to face Amy. “After that, I always listened to my so-called suitors’ meetings with my guardians. Most instructive. So, you see, Amy dear, while I may envy you your experience, I know how rare it is. I don’t expect love as you know it to find me. It’s had six years to do so and failed. I’ll soon be well and truly on the shelf.”

Kit saw sympathy in Amy’s brown eyes and, smiling ruefully, shook her head. “There’s no earthly point feeling sorry for me, for I don’t feel the least sorry for myself. What man do you know would allow me the freedom I presently enjoy—to go about as I please, to be myself?”

“But you don’t do anything scandalous.”

“I see no point in inviting the attentions of the gabblemongers, and I would never bring scandal to my grandfather’s name. But I recognize no restrictions beyond those. A husband would expect his wife to behave in accord with certain strictures, to be at home when he was, not riding the sands. He’d expect me to follow his dictates, have my world revolve about him, when I’d be wanting to do something quite different.”

Amy frowned. “I can understand your disillusionment, but we vowed we’d marry for love, remember?”

Kit smiled. “We’d marry for love—or not at all.”

Amy flushed, but, before she could speak, Kit went on, her tone one of acceptance: “You’re marrying for love; I’m not marrying at all.”

“Kit!”

Kit laughed. “Don’t fuss so, my dearest goose. I’m enjoying myself hugely. I promise you—I don’t need love.”

Amy held her tongue but, to her mind, love was the very thing Kit did need to make her whole.

Chapter 3

Kit spent the following two days paying visits to various tenants’ wives, hearing about their families, their troubles, renewing the women’s direct contact with Cranmer Hall, which had lapsed since her grandmother’s death. Yet between the chatter-filled visits, she brooded, surprised at herself yet unable to shake free.

Discussing love with Amy had been a mistake. Ever since, she’d been restless. Until then, Cranmer had seemed the perfect haven. Now, something was missing. She didn’t appreciate the feeling.

Luckily, the next day was too busy for brooding, filled instead with preparations for the dinner Spencer had organized to reintroduce her formally to their neighbors. Kit managed to squeeze in a ride in the afternoon but returned in good time to change.

The guests arrived punctually at eight. Waiting to greet them at the drawing room door, Kit stood beside Spencer, impressive in a silk coat and white knee breeches, his white mane wreathing his proud head. His expression was one of paternal pride, for which Kit knew she was directly responsible.

She’d chosen her gown carefully, rejecting fine muslins and low-cut satins in favor of a delicate creation in aquamarine silk. The free-flowing material did justice to her slender length; the neckline was scooped and scalloped as befitted her age but remained high enough for propriety. The color heightened the glow of her burnished curls and drew attention to the creaminess of her skin.

Her eyes sparkled as she curtsied to the Lord Lieutenant, Lord Marchmont, and his wife, drawing an appreciative look from his lordship.

“Kathryn, my dear, it’s a pleasure to see you back in the fold.”

Kit smiled easily. “Indeed, my lord, it’s a pleasure to be back and meeting old friends.”

Lord Marchmont laughed and tapped her cheek. “Very prettily said, my dear.”

He and his wife moved into the room to make way for the next guests. Kit knew them all. She couldn’t help comparing the real joy she felt in such a simple affair with the boredom she’d found in the elaborate entertainments of the ton.

The Greshams were the last to arrive. After exchanging compliments with Sir Harvey and Lady Gresham, Kit linked her arm in Amy’s. “Where’s your George?” At her suggestion, the Greshams’ invitation had included Amy’s betrothed. “I’m dying to meet this paragon whose kisses get you hot and wet.”

“Sssh! For heaven’s sake, Kit, keep your voice down.” Amy’s eyes were fixed on her mother’s back. Perceiving no sign that her ladyship had heard, she switched her gaze to Kit’s teasing face. And sighed. “George had to cry off. It seems he’s still on duty—assigned to some special mission.” Amy grimaced. “He does steal time to drop by now and then, but it’s hardly what I’d hoped—I haven’t seen much of him in the last few weeks.”