Page 56 of Tiger Bitten

It hurt too badly to nod. She didn’t want to look at his face right now. She didn’t want to see the disgust, so she closed her eyes.

“Oh fuck,” Dame said low somewhere near them.

“Oh my gosh,” Misty said, her heart in her tone. She squeezed her hand tighter. “Let’s take her back to our place.”

She thought Mars would lay her in the seat in the back, but he didn’t. He climbed up in the back seat and cradled her in his lap. It was pity. She’d never ever wanted him to see her in an Almost-Change. They were her greatest shames.

No, she hadn’t killed her Cat like Stellan had said. Ren didn’t even know what her Cat was. Cougar? Tiger? Cheetah? She’d never seen her. The animal had been born frozen inside of her, just out of reach—the curse of a Cat father and a human mother.

She was the result of a mistake.

She was a mistake.

A tear slid out of the corner of her eye, and she lifted her hand to wipe it away with her knuckles. She couldn’t look at Mars, but she could tell he was looking at her. Instead, she looked at the back of Dame’s driver’s seat and wished she had never come here with Mars.

Today had been the best day, and the worst day.

Misty checked her pulse and told the boys she would be just fine. Of course she would. She would go through an Almost Change a thousand more times in her life. That was the curse—the suffering. The not being able to reach the one thing she yearned for the most—the missing part of her. The animal. The most important part of her.

The Ambush didn’t talk much on the way home. There was a heaviness in the car, and she understood. They’d thought she was one of them, and it turned out she was an imposter. She didn’t blame them for getting quiet.

Ren didn’t know where Stellan was. Maybe he’d bounced before they’d loaded up, or maybe Mars and Dame had just left him at the bar on purpose.

She’d meant to talk to Stellan and make him feel included, but it had all gone so wrong.

She closed her eyes as another tear streamed down her cheek. Mars wiped it away, and she tried so hard to keep the breakdown inside of her.

Dame drove them straight to the barn apartment, and Mars pushed the door open, and got out. He set her gently on her feet. Misty met them by the truck door and pulled her into a gentle hug. “We will talk in the morning when you’ve had some rest,” she promised.

“Okay,” Ren said softly. Her voice was raw and scratchy, like she’d been screaming. Hell, maybe she had. She never had her whole mind in an Almost-Change and tried to do them when she was all alone.

This happening in front of Mars and the others was actually her worst nightmare realized.

She padded slowly around the side of the barn with Mars to the back door of the apartment. They’d left it unlocked earlier. Her body always felt so strange after an Almost-Change, like she was floating, and like her arms and legs didn’t work right. She stumbled on the porch and caught herself on the back of the chair Mars had sat in last night, making her donut s’mores. Just last night they had been laughing hysterically, and now they would never laugh again.

She’d done this too early.

Mortified didn’t even begin to describe her feelings.

He was there, hand on her shoulders, pulling her upward. He helped her into the apartment and she dragged a forced, exhausted smile up to him. Stupid tears just needed to stay in place right now. “I’m sorry.”

He shook his head. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I’m going to…” She pointed to the bathroom. “I think I need a few minutes. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” she said. The tears were burning her eyes and threatening to escape. She made her way into the bathroom and hung her head as she rested her cheek against the edge of the door. “I’m sorry,” she said again, unable to help herself. She couldn’t think straight this close to an Almost-Change.

When she glanced up at him, he looked so sad. She hated it.

Ren closed the door and pressed her palms and forehead against the door, closing her eyes as she wished tonight had never happened. She would never forget this moment or the shame.

She went into the bathtub with all her clothes on, closed the shower curtain, and curled her knees to her chest. She squeezed her eyes tightly closed and regretted so many things.

A sob took her and she sank down to the cold bathtub floor, curling her knees up to her chest as she let the heartache consume her.

She’d wanted to keep him.

More than anything, she’d really wanted to keep him.

Chapter Sixteen