Page 55 of Coveted By the Bear

I opened my senses, something I was learning to hone more and more. The subtle sound of human movement touched my ears, and I headed around the corner, flowers in hand. I opened my mouth to call out to her, but stopped when I saw what she was doing.

Hunting season was the same every year. October and November came, and droves of hunters descended upon the open forest around here. In every bar and restaurant and gas station, you could find men and women dressed in camouflage with sheathed hunting knives hanging from their waists.

Mira, apparently, was one of them.

She had a wild hog hanging from a tree upside down from a pulley system. She jerked and cut with the easy precision of someone who had harvested game a hundred times. Her arms were covered in blood up to her elbows, and her face was frozen in the fierce concentration of a woman who knew exactly how sharp her knife was.

I was at once startled and intrigued. Three more swift cuts and the back strap came free. She tossed it into a black plastic bag and went back to work without so much as wiping sweat from her brow. Her quiet turmoil confused me. I sat slowly on the middle step of her back porch and watched her work, as if doing so would help me to solve the mystery of which inner demon was eating her alive right now. I would have to cancel our reservation in the city.

She had to have known I was here. She was as skittish as a half-broke pony. Her senses wouldn’t have missed me sitting so close.

She moved around the hog to remove the tenderloins, and the half-harvested animal sagged as the pulley system failed.

Mira cursed under her breath and shoved her knife dexterously into the sheath that peeked out of her pocket. She caught the rope, but I was already headed toward her to help.

“Don’t,” she yelled, failing to meet my eyes.

I froze, my hands out as if they still wanted something to do.

Mira yanked violently on the pulley and tied the end of the rope more securely around the trunk of the tree. “I don’t need your help.” Her voice shook.

I was at a loss. I opened my mouth but only an inaudible sound of confusion came out.

Mira wiped her face against her shoulder and waited, eyes on the ground.

“What did I do?” I asked, putting a voice to my confusion.

“Nothing. You didn’t do anything wrong. I just—” Mira bit her bottom lip, but not before I saw the tremble there.

I lowered my voice. “Why don’t we just go get cleaned up and go on our date, and we can talk about whatever is bothering you. We’ll fix it.”

“It can’t be fixed. Don’t you get it? I can’t be fixed.”

“No, I don’t get it, Mira. I have no idea what I have done to piss you off, and you’re talking in riddles. Just tell me what you want from me.”

“I don’t want anything from you. You pushed me to get a job. You fixed my whole damned house to look like it belongs in some Pottery Barn catalog. You force me to spend time in town with all of the people who have hurt me. I was happy, Caleb. Before you came along, I was hungry, sure, but I knew my place in the world. I’m not good enough for you if you don’t turn me into a proper townie, and I don’t want it. I don’t want any of it. I don’t think I should go on a date with you.”

I shook my head slowly back and forth. “Why are you acting like this?”

“Like what? Like I’m crazy? Because I am. You’ve just been too dumb or too stubborn to see it. Every single person in town knows it, Caleb. Time you accept it, too. Please leave.”

I clenched my jaw to stop from yelling. Didn’t she see? I couldn’t just leave and forget about her. She had changed me—permanently. “I’ll give you space,” I gritted out. “We’ll talk about this in a few days when you aren’t so angry. It can’t just end like this, though. I need more.”

Mira looked like she was going to be sick. She was pale, and her hands shook. She swayed slightly when she uttered the words, “That’s the problem. You need me, but I don’t need you.”

And just like that, I knew she was right. I had suspected it since the day she had stitched up the damage Eli had done to me. She didn’t need a man to complete her, to walk side-by-side with her. She was as lonely as the long whistle of a midnight train, but that’s how she preferred it. The realization cut me deeper than that bear shifter ever could have. I knew I needed her. I hadn’t needed anyone since Mom died, and in desperation to connect with Mira, I had given in. And that was proving to be the biggest mistake of my life because I had allowed in a pain so acute, I would drown in it.

Without another word I left, fists clenched and a sea of red threatening to overwhelm me. My ears roared as I jerked open the door to my truck and sat in the front seat, wanting nothing more than to scream until I couldn’t see straight.

I left Mira to her beloved, lonely existence.

****

Mira

The door to Caleb’s truck slammed shut, and he peeled out of my front yard. I squatted down and pulled my hands over my head as if that would keep all of my shattering pieces together. My fingers wound painfully in my hair as I clenched my tresses, and a sob escaped my lips. How would I ever recover from something so painful? I hadn’t meant any of it. Not a bit. I was grateful to Caleb for giving me a life. For giving me a future with all the basic necessities so many took for granted. I was thankful for the change he had started in me. He had never tried to transform me to fit what he wanted in a woman. I just didn’t know what else to say to get him to move on.

He’d take the job on the big rig. Meet a nice, normal girl and live in a big house. I would always respect what I had done, setting him free like that, but hate myself, too. No one would suffer more than me.