Page 53 of Tiger Born

“Can you not find the same job around here?” Dame asked.

Mars shook his head. “I don’t want to.”

Dame cracked his knuckles and leaned back in his chair, slid his hand to Misty’s thigh under the table, as if steadying himself by touching her. “Why not?” Dame asked.

“Because this?” Mars asked, gesturing to the table, “Only works if we don’t get used to it. This has to be reserved for short visits. We have to look forward to it. If we spend too much time doing this, pretending we are okay, it’ll ramp up our tigers again, just like before.”

“We’ll never know if we can steady them out if we keep splitting up,” Dame argued. “I stayed with Stellan—”

“And how did that work out?” Stellan asked quietly.

“You too?” Dame asked, eyes flashing over to Stellan’s somber face.

Stellan swallowed hard. “I think we should plan visits like this. Mars is right. I think my tiger will go back to the way he was if I’m around other Cats all the time. Already he feels restless. Like he will build up a fight again. Can you feel it too?” he asked Dame.

Dame said, “No. We’re fine.”

But Mars cocked his head and arched an eyebrow. “Lie. You can feel your tiger’s frustration the same as I can, and the same as Stellan can. The brothers in us get along. The tigers, they want to fight when they are crammed in the same territory.”

“Yeah, well, Stellan is staying to see if we can do this,” Dame said. “You’re the one running again.”

Mars and Stellan exchanged a look that dropped Misty’s heart to the ground. Oh no.

She looked over at Dame as realization flitted across his face. “You’re staying, right?” he asked Stellan.

Stellan was the one cracking his knuckles now, and he leaned forward onto the table, hands clasped in front of his mouth as he lifted soft brown eyes to Dame. “I think I have to go find myself.”

“No,” Dame said, standing so fast, his chair fell from behind him. He paced away and back. “Stellan, you can find yourself here. Right here, where I can watch you and make sure you’re good. I can make sure you don’t hunt another Rabbit. I can’t protect you out there.”

“You don’t need to revolve your life around protecting me anymore,” Stellan said. “Sit down. Sit here with me and Mars and just listen. Don’t interrupt me because this is so fucking hard for me to say. I need to just say it, or it won’t ever get said.” He gestured to Dame’s seat. “Please.”

Dame’s chest rose and fell, his eyes filled with panic. It took a full minute for him to come back and sit by Misty.

Stellan took a big breath and blew it out slowly. “I haven’t had my mind for most of the time since I’ve been Turned. I keep having these flashbacks. The tiger is letting me in more, and you know, it’s hard. I’m seeing so many times that you were with me, following me, stopping me from doing something bad.” He nodded, and his heart was in his eyes. “You’ve done enough, brother. It’s your turn now.”

“My turn?” Dame asked.

Stellan flashed a small smile at Misty. “You found her. You found her. Brother, you found her. You have a mate, and it’s fresh, and you’ve both had to get through some heavy shit just be together. You have earned space to build your bond. I want you to. You deserve it, Dame. You deserve it.”

Something had changed on Dame’s face as his brother had talked. The panic and anger had gone away. His eyes had gone vulnerable, and soft. Dame dropped his head and Misty’s heart reached out to him. He did deserve good. He had done so much good for his brother, and had never asked for anything in return. In his own way, Stellan was trying to return some of the care, by giving Dame space to learn not to worry over him anymore.

“If I stay, you will revolve yours and Misty’s lives around me,” Stellan murmured. He shook his head. “I don’t want your life to look like that. The only way I can teach you to trust me is if I go out in the world and figure my own shit out.”

“And if you mess up?” Dame asked thickly.

“Then it’s my mistake. The bounty on my head will be my fault. You have to let me go. If you don’t, you and Misty’s life will look different. It will be smaller. I can’t be a burden anymore.” Stellan’s eyes were so full as he stared right into Dame. “Do you understand?” he whispered.

Dame ran his hand down his beard and slid his hand back to Misty’s thigh. He blinked hard and nodded slightly. “When will you leave?”

“My truck is packed. I’ve spent the last three days tying up loose ends. Quit my job, I broke the lease to my apartment, I sold most of my shit and packed the rest to go with me. I want a full start-over.”

“That’s what you’ve been doing when you weren’t here?” Dame asked.

Stellan nodded.

“When did you know you wanted to leave?”

Stellan pointed to the gravel path that led to the barn. “The second Misty asked to save me.”