Page 43 of Dreams and Reptiles

“Fine, fine. It’s casual, just no blue jeans, got it? Now, how are you for manscaping? You got a good shaver?”

“You mean…” I looked down. Oh God. “That sounds miserable.”

Rog held up his hands. “Hey, man. He probably knows what he’s getting. You’ll figure it out.”

“What? Come on, I’m not like Sasquatch or anything.”

“Can I help you find something? Were you looking for Dr. Squatch? That’s on aisle ten.”

We turned to find a young woman in a red vest stocking the shelves with what looked like… Is that a prostate massager? In the CVS?

I was really feeling my age.

“Thanks, no, we’re good.”

I turned back to find Roger biting his lip and holding in laughter.

“You suck.” I had nothing more mature to say.

“I do, thank you.” He smiled smugly.

“I just don’t want it to be weird,” I said. “He’s so much younger than I am.”

Roger rolled his eyes. “Like that matters. He’s not hung up on it, is he?”

“He likes to tease me, but I gather that’s because he can tell I’m sensitive about it.”

“It’s really not a big deal, Kenny baby. If he was weirded out by it, he wouldn’t be cooking for you and asking you to be his date for the dance. Come on, get what you need and get your head on straight. You bringing him flowers?”

I grinned. “Nah. Something better.” I had another couple of stops to make. “I’ll see you over there?”

Rog’s grin faded a bit. “Yeah, but just FYI, Derek asked us to keep things chill tonight. His mom doesn’t know about the three of us dating, and he doesn’t want to freak her out. So maybe don’t say anything?”

“Of course,” I said, patting his shoulder. He was really concerned about it. “Have you met her yet? She’s great.”

“Not yet. He said he’d introduce us to her tonight, but he’s not ready to tell her. We have to take turns dancing with him.” He rolled his eyes, and I had to fight not to laugh.

“That’s not so bad. Gives you a chance to watch both your guys, huh?”

Roger’s mouth fell open, and he swallowed hard. “Yeah, you’re right. I think, um…” He turned back around, grabbed another bottle of lube and box of condoms, scanned the shelf, and grabbed one of the prostate massagers. Then he grabbed a second one. “Okay, I think I’m ready.”

“After you,” I said, chuckling at his attempts to be cool when the same young girl called us over to her check stand.

“I can take you right here.”

“Go ahead, Rog. She can take you.”

He glared at me, and I turned away to wipe the tears out of my eyes. I had the hiccups again. When it was my turn, he started asking her questions about whether these were the top brands they sold, and if she knew how many reviews they had. I stomped on his foot, and he pressed his lips together, squeaked out a thank you, and limped out of the store at my side.

“She’s just a kid,” I said.

“Oh, come on, I’m sure she’s sold freakier shit before. Relax.”

We bro-hugged and went to our trucks. “See you over there in a bit.”

Roger tossed his bag inside and rubbed his hands together. “It’s going to be a great night.”

I hoped he was right.