Page 80 of Beautiful Disaster

“You can’t expect to be someone else. We all have our own lived experiences. We all interpret things in different and unique ways. Some are better at it than others. But it’s all made you who you are. Who I am. As life changes and we adapt, it shapes a personality that is uniquely yours. Don’t wish to be anyone else. Love who you are.”

As I love you.

He’s not ready for those words, so I don’t say them. I’ll let him come to that conclusion. I don’t want to pressure him or make him feel he should feel the same. He doesn’t need to.

He scoffs, but there’s no humor in it. “You sound like my therapist.”

“You’re saying I’m intelligent and worldly?” I tease. “I’ll take it.”

He rolls his eyes and gently smacks my chest. “I mean, you’re all lecture-y and shit. All this, ‘love yourself and you’re special’ nonsense.”

“Jinx—”

“Let’s watch The Princess Bride. It’s one of my favorites,” he says quickly.

“I’m afraid I’ve never seen it.”

He sits up and gapes at me. “You’ve never what? You’re crazy. Oh, shit, you’re so gonna love it. Think fairy tales with beautiful princesses and handsome princes, sword fighting, evil kings, but corny and funny.”

I chuckle. “Sounds right up my alley.”

I rarely watch television, but it’s nice to have him cuddled next to me as we just chill and swell from our heavy meal.

He turns on the movie and rests his head on my lap, one hand tucked underneath my thigh, the other resting on my knee. I play with his silky hair, only slightly paying attention to the movie.

His eyes start drooping before he blinks them open. His body sags heavily against me. Soon, his breathing slows, and his eyes slide shut.

I stare out the window. It’s dark now, and I’m tired myself. I turn off the movie and gently lie down while taking him with me. He stirs awake for a moment, but settles down as he lies on top of me, his face nestled in my neck. I grab the blanket draped over the couch and pull it over us, then close my eyes, feeling content, comfortable, and happy. Feelings I haven’t had for so long. He’s made my pain bearable, and I’m grateful for him.

Chapter 23

Jinx

After my shower, I sit cross-legged on my coffee table, sipping coffee as I watch Mason, who’s still sleeping. He looks so fucking cute with his rumpled waves, wrinkled clothes, and pouting bottom lip. He must have been really tired to still be sleeping. My couch is super comfortable, too. I spent a lot of money on it.

As much as I love having him in my house, after spending so much time at his, he looks a little out of place here, like he should always be surrounded by the finer things.

Thanksgiving turned out perfectly yesterday. The turkey was moist, the pies weren’t burnt, and the food was good. Even better, everyone was nice to Mason. Too bad I fell asleep through my favorite movie, but I was way too comfortable on his lap, his warmth spreading through me.

I’m falling for him. It scares me a little. No, it scares me a lot. Not only because it’s fast, but if I tell him, I’m terrified he’ll find something wrong with me and end things. My ego has been battered over the past couple of years.

Orange Crush, who was screaming at my door this morning, jumps on top of Mason and stares at him. I stifle a laugh. He’s just mad because he couldn’t sleep with me last night.

The pets mostly belong to Aleks since he’s obsessed, but Orange has kind of adopted me as hers.

Mason stirs awake, his eyes fluttering open to find a cat staring him down.

“Uhm…”

“Morning,” I say, setting my mug down and hefting the cat into my arms. “She felt you’d slept long enough.”

“Is that a fact?”

“Yep.”

Mason sits up, yawns, and stretches. “What time is it?”

“It’s after nine.”