Page 47 of Beautiful Disaster

“It’s a cute name.”

“For some reason, he’s attached himself to me. Dumb as a rock, though.” He looks back at the screen and frowns. “Tell me more.”

I roll onto my side and prop up my phone against the pillow to finish my story.

Jude William MacBride is even more beautiful in person. You always worry if you’ve been catfished with online dating. He’s confident and outgoing. You have to be as a lawyer. You can’t be shy. It doesn’t surprise me that he wants to let it all go and hand his life over to someone like me.

We meet up at a Spanish tapas restaurant, one of my favorites in the East Village, NYC. It’s trendy, but the food is amazing. Even better, it’s not far from where I work.

When I arrive, right on time, he’s already there. That’s an excellent start and shows how reliable he is.

He stands when I approach the table where he’s waiting, and we shake hands.

“I’m Jude. You’re Mason, right?”

“Yes, but my parents called me Massimo. I changed it in college to Mason.”

We sit down, and the server is at our table, ready to take our drink order. I ask for an old-fashioned, and Jude orders a glass of Sauvignon Blanc.

“Massimo’s a cool name,” he says when she leaves, chomping on a breadstick.

“Yeah, and my parents weren’t too happy about it, either, but I just… I don’t know… I wanted to Americanize myself.”

And another step to regaining some control over my life, but I don’t tell him that.

Conversation is easy, and we talk about everything other than what we’re there for. I learned he’s originally from Charlotte, NC, and when he graduated from college, he came up to attend Columbia Law School. That just shows how smart he is.

“I wanted to be a big, bad lawyer from New York City,” he says, laughing self-deprecatingly. “It’s brutal. Competition is fierce, but when you’re driven, there’s no other option.”

I swallow back a raw oyster from the shell, covered in lemon juice and hot sauce. “I get that. My parents have pushed the hell out of me to succeed. I’m not what they wanted, but…” I shrug.

He smiles, exposing cute dimples on his cheeks. “Let me guess: they wanted you to be a lawyer or a doctor?”

“You got it. They said even dentistry would’ve been acceptable.”

He raises his glass, and I clink mine against his, taking a sip. “And now you’re a restaurant manager at one of the hottest restaurants in the East Village. I’m going to have to stop by Chloe’s while you’re working one day.”

“Please do. I’ll buy you dinner.”

“How can I say no to that?”

I really like him. His confidence is off the charts, and he’s always ready with a smile. I look forward to when he hands over his body and soul to me.

It’s easy to forget the pain for a moment after focusing on the good times, and Jude and I had a lot of good times. But like all relationships, there are always some bad moments. Still, we worked through them until we didn’t. I didn’t.

“Never did I expect Jude to be so pliable. I thought he’d resist me more at first. Those subs who are highly driven want to let go of their control for a while, but it’s not easy at first. You’ll find many subs are bosses, CEOs, or doctors—people who have very stressful jobs. But Jude just melted into the role perfectly. He was made to be a submissive.”

“I thought you said he was like me.”

“He is. Was. His trauma came out later. It was hard to manage at first because I didn’t know anything about it until he was triggered one day. Just like you when we took a shower.”

“Is that why you made me talk so fucking much about myself?”

I smile and laugh gently. “Yes, that’s exactly why. I like to learn from my mistakes, Precious.”

“Did… did you call Jude that?”

“No, that name only belongs to you. He had his own name.”