Page 30 of Beautiful Disaster

“You sure?”

“Yep. It’ll clear my head.”

I do what I never do to anyone. Rarely, anyway. I pull Mason into a hug. Sure, he’s hugged me twice now, but I haven’t offered one in return besides my flirty, playful ones. It’s a genuine one. And he hugs me back. No, he squeezes the breath out of me.

Chapter 9

Mason

I stare out the window as Jinx drives my pickup toward the stables. My heart and soul are worried for him. But if I wanted to send Jinx home and end this, it’s too late now. Is it arrogant to assume that he needs me? This relationship could make or break him. Hell, it could make or break me. Still, I want to go forward with this. I need to do this for both our sakes.

I’d planned to start our first session today, but it’ll have to wait until he comes back next time. After Jinx’s panic attack, he needs to rest his mind, body, and soul.

Instead of cooking, I reheat last night’s leftovers and make us a little salad to go with them.

About an hour later, Jinx steps inside the back room, stomps his feet of snow, and strips out of his warm gear. He walks into the kitchen, looking much better, wearing a small smile, but he’s got dark circles under his eyes—a clear indication of the toll the panic attack took on him.

“Are they good?” I ask.

“Yeah, they’re all fed and warm. They’re gorgeous, Mason. Especially the black one.”

I smile at that as I plate our food. “Yeah, she’s special. That’s Black Beauty, my pride and joy.”

“I can see why. I have a Palomino named Waffle.”

I chuckle and put our plates on the kitchen table. We sit, and he instantly digs into his food. “Starving,” he says with his mouth full.

“Why Waffle?”

He shrugs and takes a large bite of salad. “Aleks and Julien are addicted to sugar or something. Seriously, it’s weird. All our animals are named after sweet things, except for Julien’s horse, who’s named Big Blue.”

“How many animals do you have?”

He stares at the ceiling, taking a sip of water. “Hmm, we have eight dogs now, of all shapes and sizes. Our first one was Nutmeg. We adopted her on our road trip here. There are about ten cats… I think. They’re mostly barn cats, but three live in the house, and one spends the most time with me. There are chickens, ducks, rabbits, and we even have a bearded lizard named Pop Rocks.”

“Jesus. How do you all take care of them all?”

“We all chip in, and Julien has staff that helps, too, including a vet on hand.”

“It’s a zoo.”

Jinx smiles broadly and shakes his head. “It’s mostly Aleks. He loves animals and has gone a bit overboard, and Julien will pretty much give Aleks whatever he wants. But I think he’s starting to draw the line. He’s getting tired of cleaning up all the shit as much as we are.”

I take a sip of wine and observe him. This is the happiest and most animated I’ve ever seen him. I’m getting to know him still, but I hadn’t expected to see so much light from him. “You love them,” I say. “Julien and Aleks, I mean.”

He thinks about it for a moment as he butters his bread. “Yeah, I guess so, though I’ve never told them that.”

“Why not?”

“I dunno. All those touchy-feely emotions hold me back. I’m not even sure I’ve ever loved anyone before.

Jinx is truly interesting. Everything that comes out of his mouth fascinates me. I’m filled with a mixture of regret and excitement at bringing him on. I want to learn everything about him: the good, the bad, and the ugly. He’s rough around the edges and has walls built upon walls despite his honesty. I’m not sure those walls were built to keep people out, but rather to keep himself in, hidden and tucked away.

He gulps down his food as if it’s his last meal, and while I’m hungry, too, I’ve barely eaten, so focused on him, filled with lingering worry.

When he sets his fork down and drinks the rest of his water, I say, “I’m going to offer something I’ve never offered anyone else. It also goes against our dynamic.”

He raises a cute brow with the fork hovering over his mouth. “What’s that?”