Page 22 of Beautiful Disaster

“Twenty-seven.”

“Jesus,” he grits before taking another sip of brandy. “Do you have more, or just this one?”

I turn my back to him and let him explore my skin. My fists are tight at my sides, but I don’t move or hide myself. It was my damn fault for coming out here nude in the first place.

His fingers graze my skin, touching each scar that I’ve accumulated over the years, from Tito to the johns.

“How did you get these?”

“The one on my stomach is from my handler, Tito. He stabbed me in a fit of drunken rage once. Aleks sewed me up. The others are from him and clients who don’t want to just fuck, but to find someone to take out their frustrations on.”

He sighs heavily. “This is giving me second thoughts, Jinx,” he whispers. “Perhaps this was a mistake.”

I whirl around on him. “No! You said this has to be built on trust. Here I am, trusting you. You need to trust that I filled out your forms honestly.”

Mason calmly sets his glass down on the table next to him, and before I know it, he’s yanked me over his lap, his hand resting on my ass. “If you want me to change my mind, you will beg me. You do not order me.” He follows that up with several smacks on my ass. It stings a lot, but it’s not so painful that I won’t be able to sit. My dick responds, too.

Does that mean he’s on board with this?

He lets me stand, and I don’t touch my ass. Something tells me to keep my hands at my sides. Meanwhile, my cock stands at full attention.

“Beg me,” he demands. “If you beg sufficiently, I will continue this with you. Prove to me you want this.”

Fuck me.

Chapter 7

Mason

I hide my surprise when Jinx instantly drops to his knees on the stone floor, resting his hands on his thighs, his eyes downcast and submissive.

“Please, trust me… Daddy.” The word comes out as a swallow, reluctant to say it. Still, it warms me. I do my best not to smile at that. God, it’s been a long fucking time since anyone’s called me that. It’s like reuniting with an old friend. “Please don’t send me away. I want to do this, and I’m here, completely subjugated to you because I’m choosing to trust you. I swear I was being honest when I filled everything out. I’ll try my best to give you my obedience.”

I lift his chin to look at me. “Are you afraid at all, Jinx? Do not lie. I’ll know.”

“But…” he sighs and nods. “I’m a little afraid. It’s just residual stuff. It’s a bodily reaction, but I know myself, and what I can and can’t handle.”

I’m not so sure about that. Even as smart as he is, he’s still young. But one of the best ways to really see yourself, deep inside, is to have a relationship such as this. You’re forced to be brutally honest and vulnerable. He’s not lying. I believe him, but I’m not sure he fully grasps the scope of this sort of dynamic. Whatever he had with that creep, Phillip, sounded like he had just a taste of it. Jinx will understand the impact of that in time.

I release him, lift my glass, and take a sip. “How did you feel about the spanking I just gave you?”

“It stings.”

“You know what I mean,” I growl dangerously.

“I wanted more,” he rushes out.

He’s erect, so it’s possible he’s telling the truth. He wants to reclaim his body. I can give him that, but he could also push me away for it. I’ve learned not to take that personally. Jinx has been through more than any human should, but I think he’s strong enough for this. I hope so. If not, I’ll let him go before we get too deep.

Still, I have my own fears. If I want Jinx to trust me, he needs to understand what I’ve been through.

This time, I cup his chin and brush his cheek with my thumb. “I’m pushing you for the truth, Jinx, because I’m also reluctant.” He watches me in silence with wide, focused eyes. “Doing this with you puts me at risk of attachment. Attachment could mean loss. Losses hurt. Deeply.”

“Like when you lost your last sub?”

“Yes, exactly.”

“I… I won’t get attached.”