Page 29 of Sands of Atonement

Salazar slid his soft brown eyes to me. “I know how this ends… Revenge… It’s never what it seems. And how do you know it’s they who killed your family? It could’ve been the man currently ruling your kingdom right now.”

My body winced. “Everyone knows they killed my family.” I tried to brush away the feeling of shame and guilt that washed over my body. I knew I didn’t feel the allegiance that I should feel toward my people. The thing was, I wasn’t raised to feel an attachment to my family’s people—to my people. I was raised to expect that ‘my kingdom’ would be my husband’s… The kingdom of Tehara. The country I was in. My eyes flitted over the crowd of people in the tavern.

Salazar shook his head, and his shoulders caved in for a moment. “I want to help you, Eshe…but this isn’t the way.”

An idea slowly wove itself into my mind, and the rest of his words vanished. “Are you not going to let this go, Salazar?”

He met my eyes. “No, I’ll do what I can to make sure you come home with me safely.”

Nothing sounded as good as being home with his family, eating noodles, and laughing over card games.

I took a deep breath. “Then help me.”

The tavern went quiet while Salazar’s brows twitched low. “How can I?”

“I’ll take care of my end, but why don’t you go to Zyriah and find information on this new ruler. I want to know what he is doing to my country, if I need to step in⁠—

“I will do no such thing,” Salazar exclaimed. “I’m too old⁠—”

“Salazar, don’t give me that bullshit. You still run ten-mile mornings, and your stomach looks as if it belongs on a statue. You’re perfectly capable of doing anything, and you’ve always reminded me of that growing up. It’s all in the mind, isn’t it?”

He let out a deep sigh and shook his head. “This would be dangerous.”

“Hold on, I’m not asking you to do anything that would be dangerous. I wouldn’t do that to little Tarrie. Just information. Information isn’t dangerous! It’s not like I’m asking you to kill—listen, I want to know: are the people safe? Who is ruling? Where did he come from?” I could tell it was working. He was thinking. “When you do go…” I treaded carefully. “Salazar, I need you to be really honest with me. Swear to⁠—”

“I swear I will tell you the truth about this new ruler.” Salazar rolled his eyes, and for his old age, it still made my heart giggle a little. “But what if he’s the⁠—”

“He’s not.” I leaned back in the chair and crossed my arms. “The Navons were part of this, not the rulers of Zyriah. I heard what I heard that night.” Taking a deep breath, I continued, “I can’t be in two places. Will you help me and find out what you can?” I tried to mentally force him to accept my proposal, like he taught me about manifestation. I imagined in a few seconds him agreeing and letting me go. “Then I can have confidence in knowing that I’ve done everything I can for my family.”

Salazar leaned forward, forearms crossed. He bared his palms. “I can’t tell you no, Eshe. If this is what you really want… I will do as you ask.”

I flung my arms around him, and I could tell even he was surprised by my physical affection.

But I didn’t tell him goodbye last time, and it didn’t feel right to pass up on it again when he was here right now for me, calling me by my old name.

Chapter 7

Eshe

In daylight, the entrance to the palace looked like the golden gates of heaven, but more dramatic. Large, white pillars brought us to the long, marble steps toward the arch. Something I only saw in the shadows the night before. The sun dipped low, casting a peachy sky in its wake. Perfect for tonight’s impending bloodshed.

Last night I arrived late to the Khraus after a long conversation with Salazar. My heart was full by the time I fell on my bed, but my chest wouldn’t stop aching at the thought of really never seeing him again. I could quite literally die today.

The steps of the girls’ feet on marble, including Ana and Norrah, faded around me. The only remaining sound was my heart thumping in my ears. The tiny, dark vial that lay between my breasts grew heavy and sticky. I had been dreaming of this moment for years, but somehow the dream was becoming so real that I couldn’t focus on anything in front of me.

I couldn’t mess this up.

Though it was scorching outside, my fingers were cold, and then I couldn’t feel them anymore. The warmth of my lips vanished.

In front of me, I saw Elissa laughing with Sorrella, leading the group of dancers, but I couldn’t hear them. They seemed to be in a faraway land that was unreachable.

Breathe.

Elissa’s dangling jewels around her waist swayed along with her bare hips as we walked up the steps of the palace, just like all of ours did. Our black outfits were form-fitting around our chests and loose past the hips with an open-slit to the side of our legs. We had a short, thin veil over our noses and mouths that kept up the enchanting traditions of the Priestels.

I glanced to my right to find Norrah smiling. Her kohl-lined eyes lit up as I met them.

She grabbed my forearm and leaned in. “I’m a little nervous.”