Page 166 of Sands of Atonement

My breath nearly left my body as I trembled under his scrutiny. A burning darkness filled his eyes—flaming like the deepest hell on earth. But no matter how hard I fought it, my body agreed and wanted to curl into his burning flames forever. My body yearned for his touch and basked in it. It was as if my body knew I was his and his alone. He was seeing right through me.

I bit my lower lip, realizing how the words I spoke no longer held as much weight as they did before. Falling down the pillow of the sands, I closed my eyes with the warmth of the sun pressing on my face. I felt his presence fall near me. I peeked an eye and saw Ezra doing the same, eyes closed. His strong hand over his core. The memory of his hand running over my body, his body pressed against mine. The way his tongue met my skin, the way his mouth was on mine.

“You can tell yourself as many times as you want that you’re not mine, Eshe. But the way you’re staring at me doesn’t make it any truer.”

I pressed my lips and turned my attention back to the sky. Idiot.

“I’m planning on going to Norrah first, not Kavid,” I admitted.

“There is nothing we can do for Norrah now. Gabriel is too powerful, and so is her father, Jakarta. Norrah was in our lands when we found her. She was alone and had escaped. But now, she’s under, from what I can safely assume, a powerful and heavy guard.” Ezra’s head turned toward me. “We can’t openly combat Gabriel. We could potentially go to war with Brestan. We’ll have to strategize.”

I turned my head, meeting his eyes. “I can’t just leave her. Who knows what he’ll do to her? Or what he’s done already?” Worry traced my voice.

“I promise, we’ll find her.”

I swallowed audibly, and my eyes fell to his lips. Not wanting to hold myself back anymore, I asked. “Are you coming with me to Kavid?”

“There was never another choice.”

My heart was stuck in my throat as I studied his darkened eyes.

For the next hour, we planned what we were bringing and when we would leave. Ezra needed a few days at the Atrove before leaving on our journey together. We both got up from lying on the dunes, brushing the sands off our clothes before heading back into the Atrove, through his private entrance.

“This is my place. No one comes back here. You don’t have to worry about anyone bothering you. You know the watering hole before my chamber?” I nodded, and he continued. “It’s shallow, so you won’t need me.”

My heart sped, and I realized I wanted him close to me—with me. At this point, I realized doing anything without Ezra sounded boring and… empty.

I shook my head slightly to myself and thanked him.

Once we entered the Atrove, Ezra took off into dark tunnels as I grabbed a cotton towel in his room and dipped my toes into the glowing blue waters. It was cool against my hot skin. I trusted him. It seemed shallow.

I slid my naked body down, and my toes met the stone. The water stopped at my hips. It was perfect. Scooping the water with my hand, the glowing blue water slipped through my fingers. Bending my knees and arching my back, the water pushed itself around the strands of my hair and caressed my scalp. I grabbed the bar of soap at the edge of the watering hole and washed my body. I felt dirty—in the sense that I had taken a life and I felt… ruined for it. I needed to scrub it from my body.

No matter how many times I scrubbed the entirety of myself raw, I still felt his death, as if it had seeped through my skin and carved into my bones.

Guilt.

I placed the bar at the edge and fell my forehead against both my arms. I took a deep breath, then another. The quiet sobs that escaped me didn’t stop as I felt a hand on my shoulder. His hand brushed my upper back, and I let out a shiver, which just caused me to sob even harder.

I didn’t want him to see my face. I didn’t want him to see how weak I was.

His hand reached the top of my head, and his fingers spread themselves through my strands. His fingers moved across my scalp, and I nearly whimpered apart. It felt soft and exactly what I needed. He wasn’t judging me.

It was easy like this—to just let go. To just feel. I sniffled and swallowed the rest of my tears.

Lifting my head, I met his strained eyes. “I thought you died,” I repeated myself. “I can’t… lose you, too.”

“You won’t. I’m not going anywhere, Eshe.”

My eyes dropped to his full lips. I felt more vulnerable than at the moment in the baths. Than when I killed my father. “You promise?”

Ezra leaned further into his crouch, his hand now wrapped behind my neck. His lips met mine, and it took my breath away. Every sensation was amplified around his kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and his arm went around my waist, pulling me out of the watering hole. He lifted us both to our feet without his lips parting from mine. I gasped at the coolness of the air that hit me, and his tongue swept in, warming me all over. I sank into it even deeper, his kiss pulling me in.

He leaned back for a moment, our foreheads meeting each other. “I promise.”

He wrapped a towel around my body, and we walked to his chamber to change. Glancing over my shoulder, Ezra locked eyes with me.

They were as dark as coal and unwavering.