Page 127 of Sands of Atonement

I held myself back because, unfortunately, I had a heart, and I loved my brother. If it were anyone else talking to me that way, they’d be six feet in the sands.

“Let go and you’ll have more control,” Casimir grunted after I landed another blow to his cheek.

Let go of the Atrovian law, finally possess Eshe as mine, and I’d be more in control?

“That literally makes no sense!” His elbow connected to my bad rib. Fuck.

I spat blood out of my mouth and got up. Casimir backed up and shook his head. Guess I wasn’t the only one being disappointed in me today.

Casimir didn’t look so pretty anymore—his lip was busted, and a cut ran across his cheek.

“Lunch is ready, your highnesses,” a servant from behind us said with a tremble in his voice.

Casimir came to my side, and we both hung on to each other, following the servant back to the steps. I was angry that my brother made a valid point. The Atrove was weakening me instead of strengthening me. Something in my life that used to be my rock, a way of living, was becoming like sand. I was now unstable, unpredictable.

The cool air from within whisked through the threshold door as our bare feet hit the marbled floor. We crossed the main hall and opened one of the glass doors. Lunch was being held outside near a small fountain, under the shade of several palms.

Norrah and Eshe were already eating when we approached.

The three conversed through the meal while I remained quiet, lost in my thoughts.

All I wanted to do was to touch her, hold her, and ask for her forgiveness. But that wouldn’t change anything. She most likely wanted nothing to do with me, and it was better that way. If she really wanted me… I wasn’t so sure I could keep resisting her.

One thing was for sure, and that was I needed to tell her everything.

She was going to hate me more after it.

But I cared more about her than I did about myself and my selfish desires.

A gasp from Norrah caught my attention as she showed Casimir something she found in the sands. A small metal bowl and what looked like a hardened mini scroll.

“So, you see, you hit the bowl with this, and it makes a”—the bowl rang with a beautiful note—“isn’t that just incredible?”

“That’s remarkable. I can really feel the vibrations inside my body. Wild,” Casimir said. “Here, let me.”

He grabbed the little metal bowl and hit the side.

I jumped, my ears ringing, and I realized I wasn’t the only one when Eshe went over to the fountain a few feet away from us.

While Norrah and Casimir were playing with her bowl, I decided this was as good a time as any to talk to Eshe. I approached her as if she were a wild horse on the loose, and had to be careful not to spook her.

I sat near her, leaving some distance between us, and I could feel her body tense up.

A sensation of disappointment coursed through my body, knowing I was the reason she wasn’t comfortable.

“Listen,” I leaned over to my right toward her, the fountain splashing softly behind us.

Her eyes darted over to mine, and she raised a brow.

“I was pissed off earlier, and I apologize if I made you feel uncomfortable.”

Her cheeks flushed pink at my words, but she didn’t look away. “Thank you.”

I swallowed dryly. Maybe I should apologize more often if she continued looking at me like this.

“Why were you?” she drawled.

She was asking why I stopped the way I did. I stared at the marble floor. “You know why.”