Page 118 of Sands of Atonement

“Yeah.”

“Being high isn’t telling any truth. This is how anyone would feel.” He blinked, and his eyes turned cold and distant.

My veins boiled.

This is how anyone would feel.

“What if I told you that there was nothing in that smoke?” I had to tell him. He deserved to know.

His eyes locked with mine while my fingers were still wrapped around his short waves.

“What are you saying?”

“It was only water,” I explained, and lowered my hands to let him see the truth in my eyes. The confession settled loudly between us.

This was pure desire, nothing less. I wanted him to know that. He lost control because I was his weakness.

I didn’t know why, but it didn’t feel as great as I thought it would to expose him like this. It felt too real. Too vulnerable. And I, a fool, bled him apart.

“Playing games, are you, little warrior?”

Even the palm trees seemed to still in the presence of his voice, that question.

“I—I wanted you… to know the truth.” I lowered my voice and looked away toward the river, not able to stare into his penetrating gaze. I don’t know why my feelings were shifting. I had always reveled in hurting his ego.

“Now you know,” he said.

“What?” I met his eyes again.

“That you are my weakness, Eshe. You always have been.”

Chapter 29

Ezra

Eshe’s fingers reached my lips, and I allowed her touch. It was warm and sweet. So soft that I reveled in it.

The confession I spoke burned deep in my soul—I had to let the fire out. I couldn’t contain it anymore.

I swallowed dryly. I could sense the regret in her eyes as she played her little game.

“I won’t tell anyone,” she promised through the darkness.

Her silver-gray eyes pierced into me. I had never felt so vulnerable before. I wasn’t hiding anymore. But this needed to stop. Even if she knew the truth, that didn’t change anything.

She was the strongest weapon. One that could kill me if I wasn’t too careful. One that, if I wasn’t careful, would suffocate me just from how close she was to me. She could ruin me. Destroy me. And I, a stupid fool, would allow her to.

I had to leave.

The more she looked at me with those glossy, soft eyes, the more her body trembled with my every touch, the more I was slipping down a sandhill I’d never be able to return from. It felt like a sliver of heaven to be able to touch her, kiss her body, and worship her, but it was against everything I stood for.

I wanted her safe, with me—away from her brother. Now, I was wondering if this was the best idea. Maybe I should have had Casimir take her instead.

The thought of Casimir with Eshe sent my blood pulsing. No, that wasn’t an option, either. There was only one option: I had to control myself.

I released a long, shaky breath and gave myself one more moment to study her moon-like eyes.

With my hands gripping sand, I let it go and rose to my feet. I couldn’t look at her anymore—I couldn’t trust myself.