Page 10 of Sands of Atonement

Eshe

Urnaz, Tehara

I thought about nothing.

Nothing.

Nothingness.

Emptiness.

I breathed in and breathed out.

I focused on the air that filled my lungs and let out a deep, long exhale.

My thoughts were of nothing, and I felt peace.

Peace in nothingness.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Though I fought hard to practice peacefulness every day, it never really seemed to settle. Perhaps it was because I was treating it as a challenge—a fight, something I had to win and accomplish.

But maybe peace had nothing to do with winning.

Or maybe it was because it was an illusion.

I pried my eyes open after an afternoon of silent meditation. The city before me registered once again in my mind. I unraveled my stiff legs from their cross-legged position.

I was in Urnaz, the capital of Tehara.

After almost three months of blistering feet, sandstorms, limited rations, and revenge being my only source of fuel, I’d finally made it. It would have taken much longer if I hadn’t found a nomadic clan a month ago, from which I stole a horse. They had multiple horses and could make do without one. Okay, maybe I stole more than just a horse, but that was because they most likely stole it from another caravan. That was how it worked in the desert. You stole and were stolen from. Nothing personal.

I stared at the white and tan-washed rooftops with busy dirt roads surrounding the city from where I sat on a hilltop with sparse trees and shrubs. There were some roofs the color of trees laid out across the city—Tehara’s colors. People were rushing through the markets, and merchants tugged on their donkeys that carried their produce and merchandise. The city extended as far as my eyes could reach.

I had visited Urnaz with my father as a child. He had sought to find terms of peace between our two countries, but they couldn’t agree on anything. It was the first time they mentioned marriage between Ezra and me.

The feud grew heavy and tiresome for my aging father. Negotiating peace was a thorn in his side. He used to tell me quite frequently. I remember hoping that we would come to peace because there was something about this city that tugged at my heart. The air, the winds.

A delusional child I was for thinking peace was ever an option.

For years, I’d trained for this, and I was finally here. Tingles of anticipation flooded my skin.

I was more than ready.

Slowly, I removed the scarf I had around my face and stuffed it into my bag. I tightened a red sash around my waist and dark linen pants. At the gates, they would inspect everyone—they’d know I was a woman. There was no reason to pretend otherwise. I placed a black robe threaded with gold around my shoulders. Unraveling the braid my hair was in, I straightened it. The loose curls bounced around my shoulders.

Zyriah and Tehara were nearly identical in their religious beliefs. They believed in the same God, the same cultural customs. But Tehara still upheld their religious traditions, whereas Zyriah was a bit more lenient. But in general, most “proper” women wore modest clothing—dresses—while the common women would wear whatever was comfortable, even pants, like the Priestels. Between both countries, wealthy women also adorned themselves with their marked silver and gold tattoos, a symbol of class in marriage.

The common people had their own God and worshipped differently. Two separate gods. Two separate people.

Taking a deep breath, I draped the cloak around my shoulders and lifted the hood over my head. Swinging the bag over my shoulder, my boots pulled me down the hill toward the city that held those who had changed my life forever. Those who became the reason why I fought to breathe every day. Those who became everything to me. My existence's purpose centered on a family soon to be dead.

The desert winds whispered as I drew closer to the edge of the city. They spoke of a dark storm approaching, and I knew once I entered, there would be no escaping it.

As soon as I descended into the valley of sands and approached the outskirt walls of Urnaz, I lowered my cloak and waited in a short line to enter the city. The clay-colored walls hid the views inside.

Two women dressed in identical dark blue cloaks and a man in a black tunic ahead of me conversed. The silver threads in the dark blue sleeve nearly blinded me as one of the women spoke.