Page 20 of Knot Her Beta

“What if he doesn’t?” he counters. “What if you give it a real shot and it actually works?”

I stare out at the gray, roiling whitecaps. “I want it to work.”

Jared steps in again, forehead resting against mine. “Then let it.”

My jaw aches from clenching it so hard.

Jared tips my chin up, studying me. “Let him in. Worst case, he breaks your heart. You’ll survive it. Best case, we get a solid addition to our family.”

My eyes sting, but I keep them open. “You really mean that?”

“I do.” He plants a kiss on my nose, rough and matter-of-fact. “But if he fucks it up again, I’m allowed to punch him in the face.”

The laugh that comes out is shaky, but real. “Pretty sure he could hold his own where you’re concerned.”

“I’m so offended right now,” Jared says as he lets me lean into him, the two of us side by side, hands buried in our jacket pockets, saying nothing for a long while.

“I don’t want to text Auren back,” I admit after a while. “But I kind of want to see him get his shit together. Just to know it was possible after all.”

Jared shakes his head, smiling a little. “Let someone else handle that. You’ve got better things to do with your life.”

We stand in the cold, the dock beneath us swaying with the tide, until the anxiety brought on from the texts dulls. My phone vibrates on the hull with another message, but I ignore it this time.

I straighten and look Jared over, taking in the grease drying on his skin and the way his hair stands up from the wind. “I love you.”

His mouth twitches. “I love you, too, Em.”

The simplicity of it settles me in a way nothing else could.

But when Jared pulls me with him down onto the dock, feet hanging off the edge above the water, it becomes clear we’re not done talking.

The February sun tries and fails to warm our faces, and I’m grateful for Jared’s body heat at my side.

He waits a minute before he says, “We need to talk about formalizing our pack.”

I grunt, more amused than annoyed.

He tries to sound casual. “We’re trying for a pup, and if we’re going to bring Leif in, it’s smarter to file.”

My jaw works before I admit, “It’s expensive.”

He nudges my shoulder. “Not as expensive as losing everything because you didn’t do the paperwork.”

I don’t answer. He’s right, but the tension returns, dread coiling under my ribs.

Jared sighs. “You said you’d think about it last time I asked. I’m hoping you’re ready to think out loud.”

I fix my attention on the scum of foam at the edge of the dock. “Do you have any idea what it cost me last time?”

He doesn’t move. Just waits.

“Five grand. Every dollar I had. Plus a loan from my supervisor.” I spit the words, still bitter after all these months. “It took two years to pay it off. Auren walked away with the registration, the pack name, everything. I got nothing.”

He shifts. “You got free. Doesn’t sound like nothing.”

I can’t stop the snort. “I got a bad credit rating, and my name is on some registry for failed packs. There’s no sponsor left for me to ask, and no family to fall back on.”

His shoulders slump. “I can’t ask my familial pack, either. You know how it was. Once they sent me off, that was it.”