Page 18 of Elizabeth Bennet Says Yes to Mr. Darcy

As long as I believed I must marry him, I could attribute my choice to necessity. I could see myself as a courageous daughter who accepted a man she did not love to save her mother and sisters. There was a convenient nobility in that image. Mr. Darcy had just destroyed it.

He would not force me. He would help the Bennets even if I left him.

All that remained, then, was to decide what I thought of him.

Charlotte entered shortly before dinner. She found me sitting on the edge of the bed, the letter open beside me.

“Mr. Darcy will not be coming,” she said. “A servant from Rosings brought his apologies.”

“Our engagement may be broken.”

She closed the door gently.

“Perhaps?”

“I learned that he came between Jane and Mr. Bingley. I told him I wished to end our engagement.”

Charlotte sat beside me.

“And what did he reply?”

“That he was giving me back my freedom.”

“That does not sound like a definite break.”

I handed her the letter. She read in silence. Her expression changed when she reached the passage about Georgiana, then softened at the final lines.

“He loves you,” she said.

“I know.”

“That is not nothing.”

“It is not everything.”

“No. But you would not have accepted him yesterday if you thought him incapable of making you happy.”

I stood.

“I accepted him because my father owes five thousand pounds.”

Charlotte remained silent.

I told her what Jane had told me. As I spoke, the shame that had kept me from confiding turned to relief. Charlotte did not judge me. She waited until I had finished.

“So you intended to marry a man you did not love to secure the Bennets' future.”

“Don't say it so reasonably. I'm having enough trouble living with my own behavior as it is.”

“I don't condemn it. You made in one evening the calculation many women make over an entire season. The difference is you were tactless enough to tell your suitor you didn't love him.”

I looked at her.

“You think this is funny?”

“A little. Especially since he loves you enough to hear a promise in the simple fact that you didn't despise him.”

I sank back into the chair.