Page 32 of Against The Tide

My heart is hammering so hard in my chest that I can’t hear anything over it. Not the alarm bells, not the warning jibes or the tug for victory of the angel and devil on my shoulders. Avery is all there is, and the sunshine she doesn’t realize she has inside her. The goddamn sunshine I’m addicted to.

“I think I’ve cracked the apple pie,” she tells me with another light chuckle.

“It’s pretty good.” Iris tugs at my hand at the same time as she tries to find purchase on the counter with the other.

“It only took me eight days of making it too!” Avery picks Iris up and sets her on the counter.

“You’re gonna love it!”

“Are you sure about that?” I tease Iris.

“Yeah, because my mommy made it and you like her, don’t you?”

Whoever said that kids have a creepy sixth sense and the ability to see through you was spot-on. This kid surprises me at every turn with her toothy grin, smart-ass insight, and old-soul rationale.

“You have the greatest mommy,” I reply, trying not to say something that will scare the hell out of Avery. She looks petrified enough with her wide eyes and flushed face. “What’s so great about this pie, then?”

“It’s a secret!” Iris pretends to zip her mouth, lock it, and throw away the key.

“Hardly. It’s all in the hands.” Avery holds them up, wiggling her fingers.

My mind instantly translates that into something completely inappropriate and dirty. It takes all of my control to shut it down and the reaction my body has to the thoughts of just how good Avery might be with her dainty hands.

“So…” I take a deep breath to gather my wits around her.

As hard as it is, I need to remind myself that her life is complicated. She’s been hurt, and she needs someone that can give her all that she deserves. No complications. No past. Fuck, her life is so complicated right now that she might never want to let another man near her again.

Stop thinking about it.

“Okay, how can I help with dinner?” Trying to distract myself from the whirlwind of juxtaposing thoughts in my head is almost impossible as Avery walks past me to the oven, her scent lingering behind her.

“Mommy and Jo made dinner already,” Iris tells me. “And I helped set the table while Mommy was talking to her boss on the phone.”

My gut twists at the possibility that she’s thinking of going back. I don’t like it at all. A part of me wants to be as close as possible so that I can make sure they’re okay. Avery and Iris.

“Come on now!” Jo claps her hands from the table as Avery puts a casserole dish down. “Dinnertime, sugar!”

“Wash your hands,” Avery reminds Iris.

Jo hasn’t been this content in a long time. She’s genuinely smiling; even her snark has been lighter.

When both Iris and I have washed our hands in the sink, we settle for dinner. It’s louder than what it usually is when I stay with Jo, but it feels different to when Rowan and his family are here. There’s no chaos, no one trying to talk over each other or constant joking around. I love them, but Rowan and Callie are full-on. As fun as it is being around them, there’s no chill. Not like this.

“Can we go to the beach tomorrow?” Iris changes the conversation from the apple picking and new chicks. “Jojo said that we could have a picnic and I can go swimming.”

“Maybe Rhett can teach you how to surf too!” Jo winks at me, I’m not sure why, but there are certain things I’ve given up trying to understand when it comes to her. It’s easier to go along with it.

“Sure, I can take you out on my board if your mom says it’s okay.”

“Is it safe?” Avery starts collecting our plates.

“I can swim. I got a medal for it, so I’m pretty good. Right, Mommy?”

“That doesn’t mean it’s safe.”

Taking the plates from her, I put them in the sink as she dishes up the apple pie and caramel ice cream.

“We can get you surfing too. It’s therapeutic.”