Page 1 of Xander

Prologue

Karens ignore trigger warnings, only to complain about said warnings. Don't be a Karen, and please heed our warnings. This Helen of Troy retelling is for readers who want to explore their fantasies in a safe space. The book contains reverse age gap, non-consensual sex, birth control manipulation, domestic abuse, and other dark themes. Whether you consider this dark or a breezy read, please exercise good judgment in real life by differentiating fiction from reality.

Xander

“You will marry the most beautiful woman on earth,” Sophie decreed, circling me with an iPad and spouting premonitions like a modern-day oracle. “I grant thee this simple gift.”

“What?” No part of her sentence made sense, but I had also joined the conversation somewhat belatedly.

I arrived late to my father’s engagement party. It wasn’t ideal, as I was already on thin ice for evading my soon-to-be stepmother. Dad made it mandatory to attend this party, and Henry Maxwell was hardly the man you wanted to piss off.

I had marched up the stairs of my childhood home, feet pounding against the marble steps in my attempt to blend in with the other late arrivals. My mood had soured upon noticing the small touches of my mother had been erased. There used to be a resin bowl fountain on the terrace and an oversized blue vase. Despite my parents’ divorce, those items had remained intact for years. But now, my soon-to-be stepmother was redecorating the house and expunging my mother’s presence.

Whatever. I needed to get through the night, ignore this gold-digging succubus, and return to my life. How difficult could it be?

After a quick inventory of the guests, I spotted my cousin Caden and my younger brother Jasper. They stood beside Sophie, our infamously brazen childhood friend. Within seconds of my arrival, she had declared I was destined to marry the most beautiful woman on earth.

“Hello to you too, Sophie.”

“You’re late,” admonished Jasper, his voice as gravelly as an old man’s despite being only sixteen. The similarities between us have always spooked people. We were born three years apart with the same inky-black hair, and at six-foot-two, he was almost as tall as me. His evergreen eyes even mirrored my lousy mood.

“I know,” I grumbled.

“He’s already chewed me out for no reason,” he muttered quietly through gritted teeth. It was evident he hadn’t wanted to attend the wedding festivities but had been summoned home from boarding school. “Asshole.”

I shot Jasper a warning look. “Don’t let him get to you. Remember—we can only control our reactions, not his actions.” I had instilled this mantra in him since he was a kid.

Jasper pulled a face in response. He was reactive, and my father was egotistical. It was a lethal combination. He couldn’t control his sharp tongue in front of Dad, resulting in countless spats, with Jasper always on the losing end.

Eager to change the topic, I squinted at the iPad in Sophie’s hand. “Someone fill me in. What are we talking about?”

“Damon sent us a link to an app this afternoon—an algorithm to compute ideal beauty per scientific standards.” Sophie held up the device clasped in her hands. “This can measure the facial features people find aesthetically pleasing, such as full lips and symmetrical button noses, then calculate what percentage of a person’s face corresponds to those ideal proportions. Brilliant, right? It’s Caden’s latest creation.”

I glanced at my cousin. Our fathers were twins and business partners at a tech company, which amassed their fortune. My uncle had a pair of twins of his own, Caden and Damon.

The four of us played a role in their business, primarily by making public appearances, though Jasper frequently defied Dad’s wishes. I mediated to coax my brother into playing ball with our asshole father. Otherwise, I had no interest in the family business. Damon had been groomed to take over their tech empire and couldn’t attend tonight due to a project. His twin Caden was a mad scientist with numerous patents to his name.

In contrast with Caden’s usual original innovations, this new venture fell short because this technology already existed. Not wanting to burst Sophie’s bubble, I responded with a noncommittal, “Impressive.”

“I’ll use this app to find you the most beautiful woman on earth,” she declared with an enthusiastic grin. “Because you never think anyone’s pretty.”

I laughed, not agreeing or disagreeing with her. In the past, I’d been accused of being too picky. I didn’t care if someone was a model or was considered beautiful by others. They had to appeal to me, and most women simply didn’t. “What’s the app called?”

“Golden Apple. Here.” She extended the tablet to Caden. “Why don’t you do the honors and do a demonstration for Xander?” she suggested.

Caden was far removed from this conversation, refusing to dig his hands out of his pockets. “No,” he answered curtly, annoyed.

“Don’t mind him. He is like a tortured artist who hates his own creations,” Sophie jested before unlocking the iPad and tilting it so I could see the screen. “Just open the app, tap the camera icon, and hold it over someone’s face.” She put the camera in mirror mode so it could scan her face. “Then wait for the app to calculate.”

The loading symbol popped up as the app analyzed her face, then spat out 91 percent. The words “Goddess Athena” flashed across the screen.

Jasper whistled appreciatively. “Not bad, Sophs.”

My brows raised. “Goddess?”

Sophie did a happy dance. “If someone’s features fall within the 90th–100th percentile range, they reach goddess status because it’s super rare.” She beamed before adding, “I’m a goddess, bitches. Bow down.”

It was apparent that Sophie had already tested the app and knew her results. The live demo was merely an excuse to flaunt her status.