Page 56 of Sinful Sharing

“I guess you’re right.”

“I know I’m right.” She adjusts herself, turning to face me. “We’re going to be okay, Taylor. I’ve got a new job, and you don’t need to hide who you are anymore. Even your mom is doing okay.”

Mom is doing better than okay, actually. She lost a few donors, but the ones that make a huge financial difference still support her.

Which is strange.

I’d expected most of them to desert her. Alan Riddleston, especially. My sexuality goes against everything he publicly claims to believe. So, why would he stay?

The answer bothers me more than I care to admit. Powerful people rarely do anything without expecting something in return. Whatever he’s getting, whatever deal he’s making with Mom, it isn’t for free.

“Hey.” Celeste shakes my shoulder. “Come on, snap out of it. You know how much I hate when you’re depressed.”

“I’ll be fine,” I reply. “At least once I book a one-way ticket out of here.”

She gasps. “No.”

“Yes.” I reach for my phone, handing it to her.

Her eyes widen as she scrolls through the images of the apartment I like the most. “This is gorgeous, but,” she stares up at me with alarm. “New York? That’s almost three thousand miles away.”

“I know—which is exactly why I’m moving there,” I reply, taking the phone from her. “I need a fresh start, CC. Someplace where no one knows who I am. A city of millions would be the perfect place to start over.”

Celeste smiles sadly. “I wish the perfect place were here in San Francisco, but I understand. Do whatever you need to be happy.”

I force a return smile.

“And I’m going to miss you.” She wraps her arm around my middle.

“Well, you could always visit,” I tell her. And then I remember saying those same words to Jude two weeks ago. Two weeks. Hell. It feels like a lifetime since I last saw them. The longing in my gut coincides with the betrayal I still feel.

“You already know I’m going to take you up on that offer.” Celeste grins. “And I might take Malik with me.”

I groan and roll my eyes. “Then I’ll definitely need to install a soundproof door.”

Celeste giggles. “As if we’ll be the only ones getting it on. I’m sure you’ll have no problems finding a boyfriend once you settle in.”

Her words suck the air out of the room. My chest tightens. I rub the area, taking a deep inhale.

“Taylor?”

“I’m okay.”

But I’m not. The thought of meeting someone new sends an overwhelming wave of intense dread crashing down on me. I don’t understand. This is what I’ve always wanted, isn’t it? To have dinner with another man without looking over my shoulder, to hold his hand in public, to be loved openly and genuinely for the rest of my life.

So why does it feel as if I can’t breathe?

“Baby steps,” Celeste whispers. I glance at her, seeing that discerning look. “You might not want to tell me everything that happened in Hallow Creek, but I know you, Taylor. You wouldn’t have slept with them unless you felt something. And it wouldn’t be the first time you got attached, either.”

I sigh. As always, she’s right as rain.

“Have you heard from them?” she asks.

“They tried contacting me, but I haven’t responded.”

“Do you think you ever will?”

“No.”