Page 1 of Fatal Fantasy

TWO MONTHS AFTER THAT NIGHT …

ONE

CARTER

I’m stuck in a prison of my own design, with no escape, or ways to pass the time without breaking down and thinking about the two souls I loved, but ultimately lost.

I once said that New Jersey was the worst place on Earth, but I was dead wrong.

California fucking sucks.

Since the moment I stepped back on West Coast soil, I’ve been desperate to leave, to go back to the place where I left my heart, but that isn’t possible.

I was promised the moon, stars, and any galaxy of my choice, but once I came home, none of that turned out to be true.

My father sent me off on a mission that not only changed my life, but jeopardized it on a daily basis — and instead of taking over the Cassini throne, I’ve been shunned by the entire family.

What could’ve been a sliver of joy, in an otherwise abysmal situation, was cruelly taken away, just like every other thing I’ve cared about.

Without meaning to, I made a fucking mess of everything, literally leaving bodies and fires behind, but I didn’t have a choice because when my father came for me, I had to obey, or the consequences would’ve been dire.

I’ve replayed those moments from that night, over and over, wishing I had the courage to fight back, but ultimately, I let fear win, something I can say is truly a first for me.

There’s no rewind button to let me do it all over, or an oracle that gives me a glimpse into the future, and there sure as hell is no way to undo the pain I inflicted on the boys I left behind, but I’m the one who has to live with the fact that these are the direct consequences of my lies.

I’ve learned the hard way not to ask if they’re alive, or what happened to them after our chopper landed, but I spend every waking moment wondering if they’re okay.

A girl can only take so much heartache, and although over time I had no choice but to accept my fate, I’ve never been in a darker space than I was when I crossed the threshold back into a life that no longer wanted me.

That Night

My hair is a knotted mess as we approach the helicopter, the blades rapidly spinning as we make a grand escape.

I’m covered in blood, my bra and panties barely leave anything to the imagination, and I’m being forced to see my father, forced to go back home.

The tears don’t stop falling as I’m propped in a seat, fitted with a headset to protect my ears, and flown across the night sky.

Flashes of Tyson’s lifeless body, and Jasper’s face as he realized my betrayal, are burned into my mind, our journey ending in the most horrific of ways.

Everything is destroyed, from our home, down to our connections, and I’ve never felt more empty, even as I’m being transported back to the life I used to dream about.

The war is over, blood spilled all over the coast of Jersey just like I was supposed to do, but even the promise of taking the Cassini throne won’t be enough to heal the massive holes left in my heart and soul.

I didn’t want it to end this way.

If things happened as they were supposed to, I was slated to run off into the sunset with my boys, but unfortunately, the strings that control our lives don’t always pull in the direction we want.

“Prepare for landing, Miss Cassini,” the man beside me says, and if I weren’t stripped of my weapons before getting into this helicopter, I’d stab him in the fucking neck.

“Is my father on the plane?” I ask, hoping to at least garner a sense of what I’m walking into, especially in the rough state I’m in emotionally, and physically.

“Yes.” He stares blankly ahead, not even bothering to make eye contact, which can only mean that this isn’t going to be a warm welcome, considering the man is supposed to be on his deathbed, not flying across the country.

I’m going with the motions, allowing my body to be moved in the direction everyone else wants me to go, because I’m fucking dead on the inside.

In the blink of an eye, I lost everything tonight, the future I chose was cruelly stolen, and I’ve come to realize that I don’t care if I live, or survive to see another day.

At least death would be final, and I’d never have to endure another second without the two hearts that complete mine.