Page 76 of Holding On

Finn

Just let us know if she needs anything, ok?

Ryan

How’s Wells?

Me

He wants answers and then he’ll process it.

Savannah

It’s probably super complicated with everything, but it’s still their mom, and also so soon after Fiona’s death. You seriously have to let us know if Tinsley needs anything at all, Jack. I’ll text her later today but give you some time first.

Vivian

Me too.

Liam

I’ll call Wells later.

Vivian

Just let us know what Tinsley needs…

Me

Thanks everyone. I’ll keep you in the loop.

When I arrive at my penthouse, Tinsley is in my arms like a blur, and at some point, Allie sneaks out. I sit with Tinsley on the couch and she lets it all out.

She cries for the loss of her mother, but it’s more than that, and a part of her crying is for the finality of it all. Tinsley is crying about her death, of course, but also the loss of that relationship ever being redeemed. With Bridget passing, there’s no fixing how broken their relationship was, and there’s no version of Bridget where she ever put Tinsley first—at least not in the last thirty years of Tinsley’s life. Wells has insisted over the years that it was different before their dad died, but Tinsley doesn’t remember those days, so that’s not really any comfort to her. Eventually, Tinsley’s sobs slow, as does her breathing, and my girl cries herself to sleep in my arms.

I don’t have anywhere else I need to be or anything else I need to be doing.

Holding my girl while she tries to process all of this shit on top of all of the other shit she’s already dealing with is not only where I want to be, it’s where I need to be—just like I need my next breath, I need to help Tinsley carry the emotional weight of this. If I can ease her burden at all, then that’s what I’ll do.

I love this woman and that’s not just a nice sentiment. It’s a vow that means showing up and choosing her, something I want to do the rest of my life. I will stand with her in the happy moments of life, but I will also fight through hell and wade through the dirtiest heaps of garbage and crawl through the slimiest muck if she needs me to.

Marriage has never really been a goal of mine or even on my radar until Tinsley, but like the floodgates have opened, I can see it all: Tinsley with her gorgeous curly red hair wearing a white dress standing in front of our family and friends, her ice-blue eyes radiating joy with my ring on her hand, and my baby in her belly.

This just escalated.

But I can’t unsee the vision.

I want to marry Tinsley, and I want that to happen as soon as she’ll say yes. We just have to get through all this shit first. When it comes to Bridget and Rick Wilson, shit is the correct term. I struggled to find redeeming features in them when I didn’t know the full picture of what Tinsley’s reality of life was like with them, but now that I know the full picture and the extent of the abuse Rick subjected Tinsley to and Bridget allowed, if not also participated in at least verbally? I find them lacking in every possible way.

It's really astonishing that Wells and Tinsley are as incredible as the two of them are considering the home environment they had to survive.

Tinsley starts to stir after she’s been sleeping for maybe forty-five minutes. I’m not sure—I haven’t looked at my phone. I’ve been sitting here, looking at this amazing woman who is stronger than she should ever have to be but still carries herself with such grace.

Her big eyes blink up at me with a soft smile as I press a featherlight kiss to her forehead.

“You’re amazing, do you know that?” I tell her gently as I push some of her wayward curls out of her face. She tilts her head toward my chest and nuzzles into me a little more with a content smile.

“Because I can cry myself to sleep or…?”