Page 30 of Holding On

“I’m not going to rob you, Wells. It’s okay, just be gentle on my right side.” Wells looks at my side as though there will be a bleeding wound, but broken ribs aren’t typically visible from the outside, not in my experience anyway.

“I can’t even begin to express how sorry I am that I didn’t know, Tinsley. I’m sorry you didn’t feel safe enough to come to me. I am going to do everything in my power to make sure you never feel anything but safe and loved for the rest of your life. I’m sorry I let you down, Tinsley. I am so fucking sorry.” My brother lives big—and usually with a massive grin on his face. Seeing him sitting here, with tears running down his cheeks that he isn’t even trying to hide or wipe away, breaks my heart in ways I didn’t know was possible.

I shake my head at him as I reach out and take his hand. “We aren’t doing that, Wells. We aren’t taking blame that’s not ours to carry, okay? What I care about is what we do from here, and where we go from here. And I really, really hope wherever it is, there are better beds than this hospital bed.”

“Now that is something I can absolutely take care of.” Wells smiles before his eyes darken. “But I swear to God, Tinsley, if you ever keep something like this from me ever again⁠—”

“I won’t. No more secrets, Wells. I promise. We have a lot to talk about, but I swear, I didn’t think I had a chance, and I thought I was protecting you and Mom. But Pippa and Jack have already corrected some of the lies I accepted as truth, and I suspect there will be more to unpack in the coming days.”

“Protect me? From who?” He tilts his head as his expression turns almost feral. “Rick? I’d like to see him fucking try. Jack isn’t the only one that holds a black belt in Krav Maga. And Mom? Well, that’s probably a conversation for another time.” His somber face stops me from asking more questions. “But moving forward, any communication that you don’t want to have with them, or anyone else, you don’t have to. You’ll have an entire team that will handle anything you don’t want to, and if you don’t want to speak to Mom either, then I’ll handle her. I’ll take care of everything, Tinsley.”

And that’s exactly what Wells has done. Wells cleared his schedule of anything that he couldn’t do remotely from home, and we spent more consecutive time together at his house in Nashville than in the last two decades. I could have been at my penthouse that’s less than a half mile from his place, but I felt more comfortable with him under the same roof. It also allowed Wells and I to have an honest conversation about my longstanding feelings for Jack, which are much deeper than the childhood crush Wells had been aware of for years. I wasn’t sure how my brother would handle the idea of Jack and I seeing each other, but Wells said that my happiness came first and insisted that no one would protect me better than his best friend. He also insisted that we would need to have very clear boundaries of what Wells wanted to be aware of or witness to because he would always be my big brother first and foremost—which also meant he wouldn’t hesitate to punch Jack in the face if he ever hurt me.

Jack wasn’t at the house for that conversation, but I know Wells would have said the exact same thing directly to his face—and that’s yet another reason why my brother is the best.

Some of the other honest conversations were less fun, but long overdue, including our different experiences growing up in our childhood home. I don’t have memories of our dad, despite Wells insisting Bridget was different before Dad died, I don’t have any memories to back that up. I’m done keeping secrets from my brother and I know it’s no longer my job to protect him. My efforts to do that actually caused him pain in the long run, which was the last thing I ever wanted to do. There are more conversations we need to have in the future, but it’s a new era for us and there are going to be a lot of changes.

When I resumed my tour, I started with a new security team that is not only very thorough but very protective of me. For the first time, I have a say in my safety and who is allowed near me, and it’s incredible, if not overwhelming at times.

Allie has been with me every step of the way, along with my new shadow that is my own personal Thor—quite literally. Sven Thorson is officially the head of my security—although no one calls him Sven—and he came highly recommended by Jack’s brother Liam, which for some reason made Wells extremely comfortable with the entire idea. Thor is six-six and literally looks like a Viking, from his ice-blue eyes and massive muscles, to his blonde man bun. I can’t be sure, but I think he and Allie may have started to develop something, which I love so much for them both—or at least what I know of Thor so far anyway. He’s typically extremely intimidating with a growly expression, but I swear his eyes soften when he looks at Allie, and I’ve caught her blush more than once. Thor accompanies me to any public performance and is on call if I want to do anything in addition to appearances, like if Allie and I want to go to lunch—without asking for permission—I just have to let him know so he can accompany us.

I roll over in bed and enjoy the quiet of the morning. The show two nights ago was great, as was the last-minute add-on concert that sold out in thirty-six minutes. I had always planned on adding the show all along, in part to give me an excuse to not have to be with my mother on Thanksgiving, but after everything that’s happened, being on the stage is meaningful and healing in a way that I can’t fully unpack yet. When Wells offered to fly here so we could be together for Thanksgiving and then suggested we head to his place in London for Christmas, I couldn’t say yes fast enough. It would be great to see Jack, but I get that he has his family commitments, and we’ve been talking in some capacity daily since everything happened. As though he can tell I’m thinking of him…

Jack

Happy Thanksgiving, down under, Red.

Me

Thanks, Jack. Happy Thanksgiving a few hours early to you too!

Jack

Big plans today?

Me

Wells and I are going to order food in and kick off the holiday season with an epic movie marathon.

Jack

Sounds perfect.

Me

I agree. Wish you were here too though.

Jack

I know. But I heard your and Fiona’s NYE concert in Austin is a go… thought I might swing by if that’s ok with you?

Me

Are you serious?! I’d love to spend NYE with you!!!

Jack

Perfect. It’s a date.