Page 76 of Choosing Us

Damn it. I’ve trained him too well in my mannerisms. “And I was afraid that you would think I wasn’t good enough for someone like him. Or that the age gap was too much. Or that it would somehow disappoint you.” The last sentence is said much softer than the first few, but Walker’s eyes soften, and I know he heard everything I said.

“Harlow, I am not your shitty parents.”

“Thankfully.”

He nods in agreement. “And I don’t think of you in terms of your age, if I’m honest.” He leans in, and I’m grateful his eyebrows aren’t so angry looking now. “Okay, you’re ten years apart, but so what? You are an exceptional human being in every sense. You are probably out of his league, if I’m honest, and that has nothing to do with age. That just has to do with how awesome you are.”

He shakes his head as he blows out a big breath. “I thought I had done something to make you feel like you couldn’t trust me with this, and it bothered me. I consider you a friend. You’re clearly good friends with my wife, and I care about you as a person. I wanted to make sure our friendship was okay, because honestly, I thought you’d say something months ago, like when a certain jet picked you up early from New York around Christmas.” He gives me a knowing look.

“There wasn’t that much to tell when that happened,” I quietly reply.

“But there was something. And it’s gone on long enough. When he picked you up yesterday after you were soaking—which I still want you to explain why you were so damn wet if he dropped you off in the first place—that was the last straw for me. I wanted the air cleared, especially if I had done something to make you feel like you couldn’t trust me anymore.”

“No, never. That wasn’t it at all.”

“Okay, then. Are we good? Can I give Ryan a hard time about his intentions yet or what?”

I laugh at that. “That’s between the two of you; I’m staying out of it.”

“Fine by me. But seriously, are you happy? Is he treating you well?”

I smile at my friend who is always looking out for me, and the realization makes the fact that I hurt him hit a little harder. “Yes. And … yes. He’s such a good guy, Walker.”

He nods and takes another drink before replying, “He really is—but you deserve nothing less, Harlow, and if he steps out of line at all, you let me know, and I’ll handle it.”

I laugh again. “I appreciate it, but I can handle it.”

He shrugs one shoulder. “I know you can, but you don’t have to handle everything alone all the time. I’ve got your back. Without question or hesitation.”

The reference to The Cavalry’s motto puts a lump in my throat. “Thank you. I … I really appreciate that.” We don’t talk about my history or family structure often, but Walker knows all the details. I also know that if my friend says he has my back, then I’m good.

And that means more to me than I’ll ever be able to express—so it’s a good thing he would never make me say it, anyway.

CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

Davis arches his back and stretches in my arms, and I’m pretty sure my ovaries just jumped.

As a doctor, I know that’s not feasible, but as a woman, I feel like it’s entirely possible. Walker and Vivian’s twins, Henry and Davis, are five weeks old, and while I’ve been around babies, I’ve never been around babies of people I had personal relationships with.

I’ve never held a baby who is the nephew of the man I’m falling—have fallen—in love with.

All kinds of firsts this morning.

I would have loved to meet the twins earlier, but between the regular work demands and the additional work of stepping in as lead for our team, I have been spending an insane amount of hours at the office.

It doesn’t help that whenever I’m finally able to leave after a long day, I make the hour drive west to Forrest Falls, so when I pass out from exhaustion, I can do so in Ryan’s arms and in his bed.

He’s offered to drive to my condo more than once, but I like being with him in his home. There’s a serenity about turning off the main road and up the winding driveway with his farmhouse peeking through the trees like a beacon of … home.

And if I’m not completely exhausted, he does more than his fair share of contributing to ensure I get a good night’s sleep—and am completely satisfied when I do drift off to dream land.

But after I ran away from Ryan last week, only to have Walker watch me get into Ryan’s SUV when it was all said and done, there’s one last conversation I’ve been putting off.

So, sue me for using a baby as emotional support while I rip the Band-Aid off.

Savannah, her daughters, and I are all visiting Vivian, and it’s the first time I’ve been to Walker and Viv’s new home, too.

I’ve been so busy with work, I haven’t even found time to read … well, at least not very much. I still find some time but never enough, let alone time to see my friends in person.