Page 54 of Choosing Us

I don’t want to analyze this.

I want to be in this moment with him.

I rise up on my tip toes, thankful for his hand keeping me upright against the wall of the house and kiss him.

I pour all my emotions and hopes and questions into this kiss. I don’t know what I’m doing here, not really, but I want more.

With him, I think I want everything.

Ryan pulls me into the butler’s pantry just as his family starts the official countdown.

“Five, four, three, two, one—Happy New Year!” everyone shouts, and Ryan pulls me into a kiss, slightly more restrained than the ones we shared outside earlier.

He wraps his arms around me and hugs me tightly. “Happy New Year, Lo.” His lowered head is close to my ear, and his quiet comment makes my smile grow even wider. We kiss quickly before slipping back into the kitchen and try to make our entrance as subtle as possible.

“Hey, Uncle Ryan, Harlow, look here!” Emily calls out to us, making me jump like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar. I look over, and she has her mom’s cell phone, clearly taking her role as the official party photographer seriously. “Say cheese!”

Ryan’s tall frame engulfs me, and I fit under his arm perfectly with the top of my head not even reaching the top of his shoulder. He keeps his arm around me, and I lean into him fully, wrapping my arms around his waist as we smile for the camera.

“Perfect!” Emily bounces to the next couple. Savannah asked me earlier in the evening if she could tag me in the post on Instagram, which I said was fine because both Ryan and I keep our profiles set to private, so only our friends would see them.

I’m not trying to be secretive; I’m just selective with the information I want out there about my personal life because of my job, and also because I know too damn much about the realities of what’s outside of this cozy bubble.

Although the nature of my relationship with Ryan is clearly no secret by how we were holding on to each other, but Olivia assured me it was the perfect pose. Good thing the only people that will see it are my own personal friends—and I smile as I recall how much Walker hates social media.

It’s not a very well-kept secret, and I know we will have to discuss all of it eventually. Thankfully, today is not that day.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

“You were right—that sandwich was life changing.” I squeeze her hand slightly to emphasize my statement. “I can’t decide if it was the sauce or the bread.”

Or simply the enchanting company across the table.

Harlow grins, looking up at me. “It was definitely the bread, but the sauces are all made from scratch in-house, too. I told you it’s my favorite!”

I originally had grand ideas for our first date, but then it was snowballing and becoming too big without possibly scaring her off. I spiraled a little in my own head, overthinking it, then Harlow’s schedule changed. She ended up going out of town that Friday evening for work, and when she landed four days later, I didn’t want to wait any longer.

My elaborate first date plans simplified, and we went to her favorite restaurant where the club sandwich rocked my world—but couldn’t even compare to the company.

“The restaurant has two other locations in town, and one is pretty close to our office, which is how I first discovered Spoon and Smash thanks to Walker’s amazing assistant, Christine. I was thrilled when I discovered a location so close to my condo and this cute little park to walk through en route.”

I hum in agreement as we stroll the walking path that winds through the park connecting Harlow’s neighborhood with a busier intersection and Spoon and Smash. Tonight’s weather is unseasonably warm, so when Harlow asked if we could walk to dinner, I quickly agreed. It’s cold enough to require proper winter jackets, but comfortable enough for a stroll through the park.

It also gave me an easy excuse to hold her hand under the guise of keeping her warm.

“This park is really nice. Do you walk this path often?” Even on a winter evening, it’s busy with families and adults walking through space; it’s easy to imagine picnics and yard games when the weather is warmer.

She holds her head a little higher as she responds, “I do, and not only to get Spoon and Smash.”

“Because they deliver?” I bite back my smile at my teasing.

Harlow’s shoots me a mock glare. “Okay, in part, yes, but there is also a coffee shop next door that I like to frequent as well.”

I give her a knowing look. “Ah, and they don’t deliver.”

She rolls her lips between her teeth, fighting a grin. “No, they do not, but that’s beside the point.”

“I would cut through worse areas to get good food and coffee, but I do like how safe this area is with the security measures in place.” I nod toward an emergency response tower across the green path and the sporadically placed security cameras. The cameras look a little outdated, but the park is well-kept and well-lit.