Page 30 of Jax & Knox

"Hey," he says. "Just wanted to check on you."

"I'm okay," I say. And for the first time, I almost mean it.

He nods, but he doesn't leave. He just stands there, looking at me, and I can feel the weight of his gaze.

"Jax—"

"I can't stop thinking about you," he says, the words tumbling out in a rush. "I know I shouldn't. I know you've been through hell and the last thing you need is me complicating things. But I can't help it, Ainsley. I can't stop."

My breath catches.

"I'm not asking you for anything," he continues. "I just... I needed you to know."

I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do.

So I do the only thing I can think of.

I step forward and kiss him.

The moment my lips touch his, the world stops.

For a second, neither of us moves. We're frozen, suspended in this moment, and I think maybe I've made a terrible mistake.

But then Jax's hands are on me.

One hand cups the back of my head, his fingers tangling in my hair. The other wraps around my waist, pulling me against him. And he kisses me back.

It's desperate. Hungry. Like he's been holding back for so long and now he can't anymore.

His mouth moves against mine, demanding, claiming, and I melt into him. My hands grip his cut, holding on like he's the only thing keeping me upright.

For a moment, I let myself believe this is real. That I deserve this. That I can have this.

And then reality crashes back in.

What am I doing?

I pull away abruptly, stumbling backward, my hand flying to my mouth.

Jax stares at me, his chest heaving, his eyes dark and wild.

"I—" I start, but I don't know how to finish.

"Ainsley—"

"I can't," I say, my voice breaking. "I can't do this."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm broken!" The words burst out of me, raw and ugly. "Because I'm a mess and I don't know how to do this and I'm terrified that if I let myself want you, it's going to destroy me."

Jax takes a step toward me, but I hold up a hand, stopping him.

"Please," I whisper. "Just... please go."

For a moment, he doesn't move. He just stands there, looking at me like I've ripped his heart out.

And then he nods. "Okay," he says quietly. "But this isn't over, Ainsley. Not by a long shot."