Page 23 of My Brother’s Best Friend

“I’m sorry. Both for what you went through, and for bringing it up.”

Jordy made a face. “It’s not like I can really forget. It’s just nice to pretend sometimes.” He took a sip of his beer. “Sometimes I think pretending is all I do.”

“What do you mean?”

I felt a little rude. All I was doing was asking him questions, grilling him about his personal life. But I couldn’t help it. There was something so tender, so hopeful about Jordy. I found myself wanting to protect him.

He was quiet for a moment. “Do you ever feel like maybe your whole life is a lie?”

“More than you can imagine,” I said before I could stop myself.

Jordy’s eyes widened, and he gave me a long look, and for a second, it was like time stopped. I was aware that conversations were still going on around us, the breeze still sifting through the palmetto fronds above our heads, flashing shadows and sunlight across his face. But at the same time, I felt like the world was holding its breath.

I was, at least. I was waiting, I realized. Waiting for Jordy to ask me what I meant. I almost wanted him to. Wanted someone to call me out on it, point-blank. To force me to tell them what I was hiding. To take the decision out of my hands.

“I just feel like a fraud,” Jordy said, and the moment shattered. “I was so ready to put Summersea behind me when I finished high school. Told everyone I was never coming back. I was just done, you know? I didn’t want to end up like my mom, or like my sister, or—” He broke off there.

“Like Levi?” I asked.

He sighed. “Levi should be my role model, right? He’s the only one in my family who didn’t screw everything up. But I just wanted to be somewhere where no one had any expectations when they heard my last name. I wanted the chance to succeed, without my family’s reputation following me around. And yet here I am, back home, broke, single, a failure. None of the things I said I would be.”

It hurt, seeing him like this. The Jordy I remembered was full of life and ideas and energy. And no matter what he said, I couldn’t picture him as a failure. Jordy made you smile when he walked in the room. He made your life better just by existing.

“It’s not permanent, though, right?” I said. “Things might suck now, but Levi said you were going back to New York in a few weeks and—” I broke off, wincing at the stricken look on Jordy’s face.

“He wants me gone?” he whispered.

“No, no. He was just saying that he thought you would want to leave. And I swear, we don’t actually sit around talking about you, I don’t want to sound creepy. It’s just, like you said. He cares. He doesn’t consider a day a success unless he’s given at least three pep talks.”

Jordy snorted. “True.”

“It’s just a rough patch, right?” I added. “You can’t give up because of one setback.”

“It’s hardly just one.”

“Okay, a few setbacks, but still. They won’t last forever. As long as you’re passionate about what you’re doing, that’s what matters. The world needs people like you. People who are passionate, that is.”

“I don’t even need Levi to give me a pep talk at this point,” Jordy said with a grin. “I’ve got you.”

I tilted my head to the side. He didn’t seem annoyed, but I had the sense that something was still bothering him.

“Why do I feel like you’re not convinced?” I asked.

He grimaced. “Probably because I’m a malcontent who’s determined to be unhappy.”

“Somehow I doubt that.”

“I mean, you just heard me complaining about having a brother who loves and supports me, and yet here I am, hanging out with a relative stranger just so I can avoid going home. Clearly there’s something wrong with me.”

“Clearly.” I made myself laugh, but I couldn’t deny that the relative stranger bit stung. Just because it was true didn’t make it any easier to hear.

Then again, I shouldn’t have been surprised. Even my anonymous internet hookup hadn’t wanted to spend time with me, in the end. Why should Jordy be any different?

“Anyway,” he said, “I’m sure you don’t want to hear me ramble about how pathetic my life is. You have an actual life of your own.”

“Not much of one,” I said. “And you weren’t rambling.”

“I was definitely rambling.”