Page 17 of My Brother’s Best Friend

In for a penny and all that.

Miller took a moment to reply that time too.

MILLER: Well, that’s honest, I’ll give you that

QUINCY: Have I completely turned you off?

MILLER: Not completely. But I admit, I’m a little nervous about taking your gay virginity. What if you hate it, and realize this was a mistake?

Oof. Probably not a good time to mention he’d be taking my virginity, period.

MILLER: What if you don’t hate it, but you wish you did, because you’ve got all sorts of internalized homophobia, and you beat me up or something?

Oh Jesus, I hadn’t even thought of that.

MILLER: It’s not that I’m saying no, I’m just saying, this is a bit of a leap of faith here

I thought that over for a minute.

QUINCY: I can give you my word that I’m not going to beat you up, but I know that probably doesn’t mean a whole lot. If it makes you feel any better, I’m nervous that you’ll realize this was a mistake because I’ll just suck so much, you’ll wish you hadn’t wasted your time

QUINCY: But also, I was thinking—have you ever been to The Port Hole, in Adair? Apparently, they have a glory hole in the men’s room, between the last two stalls. We could meet there. Like, in the bathroom. That way I’d never even see your face, and vice versa. And it’d be a semi-public place, which should drastically reduce the chances of anyone getting beaten up

Miller’s reply was quicker than I expected.

MILLER: Oh God, you’re not a deeply closeted father of four with a reputation to protect around town, are you?

MILLER: Fuck, or a middle school vice principal with a TikTok account?

QUINCY: That’s specific. And no. I’m not. Are you?

MILLER: No. But you realize either, or both, of us could be lying, right?

QUINCY: This conversation has taken an unsettling turn

MILLER: Well, I had to do something to make up for your lack of a knife collection or parental damage

I laughed quietly.

QUINCY: I mean, my relationship with my parents could be better. It’s not really Bates-ian, but I could lie and say it is, if that would help

MILLER: Because more lying will definitely improve this situation

MILLER: Alright, Quincy—which I’m assuming is not your real name, and I want the story behind that choice sometime—I might regret this, but let’s do it. Let’s meet up. What are you doing in an hour?

My eyebrows shot up.

QUINCY: In an hour??

MILLER: Yeah, why not? I don’t have anything else going on. Might as well swipe some guy’s V-card. Or get serial-murdered. I could go either way, to be honest

MILLER: And with the festival going on, things are only going to get more crowded the later it gets. Unless you want an audience, the sooner we get to The Port Hole, the better

Oh God, an audience. Somehow I hadn’t thought about that. I really should have asked Levi more questions about just how this glory hole worked. But it was too late now.

I was either going to do this, or I was going to chicken out. But if I chickened out, it’d be as good as admitting I was never going to put myself out there. Never going to hook up with anyone. The universe had handed Miller to me right when I needed him. Was I really going to say no?

For a brief second, Jordan’s face flashed back into my mind, but I pushed it away. Jordy had nothing to do with this. He wasn’t interested, and never would be. But Miller was, and he was offering to meet me halfway.