Page 87 of Loving Kai

“I’ll make a bed for you on the couch, and I’ll sleep in your room with Kai. I’ll keep an eye on him all night.”

“Get some air?”

“Yes, please.”

“He’s not going to do that again, right?”

“Not tonight.”

He looked at his boxers. “I guess I should put some pants on.”

“That would be best, dear.”

Abe got dressed, then grabbed his phone, wallet, and keys. He looked at the three items and shook his head. He didn’t want to leave the house with only those things anymore. He returned to the kitchen. “I’ll take a short drive.”

“Are you okay to drive?”

“Yeah. I’m good.”

He left the house and walked to the car. He started to open the door, then looked toward the garage. The motorcycle would do a much better job of clearing his head. He got on his bike and headed down the street. When he found himself driving past Rocco’s, he pulled into the lot and parked in front of the door. He went inside and took a beer from the cooler, then sat at a booth and opened it.

He just wanted to erase the image of Kai seizing in his arms. He’d barely drunk over the last month since Kai arrived. He hadn’t really thought about it, or missed it. But now, perhaps it would help. A few minutes later, he stared at the empty bottle. The memory of the seizure was still there, and Abe got up to get another beer.

A third beer later, he was still in the booth. “Fresh air. I’m supposed to be getting fresh air.” He took three more beers from the cooler, intending to bring them home, then left the restaurant. He stashed the beers in the bike’s small storage area, then drove out of the parking lot and headed for the river. He followed Northside to the park, then drove to the swimming beach and parked the bike.

Abe took out one of the beers and sat on a picnic table, his feet on the bench. Spring always brought wildflowers to the shore, and their scent filled the air. An owl hooted nearby, and the crickets were holding a sing-along somewhere nearby.

Abe opened the fourth beer. He’d hoped the image of Kai having his seizure would have been drowned out by the beer by now, but it was as clear as ever. He thought about Levi and what Gentry had to deal with every day. His brother was a rock, someone who seemed able to handle anything. “I’m not. I can’t do this. I can’t see him sick.” He rubbed his chest, then turned and lay back on the wooden table, bringing his feet up and bending his knees.

The sky was clear and full of stars. He’d spent a few nights with Lizzie sleeping under them, and she’d pointed out all the constellations. He remembered a few and tried to find them, then closed his eyes. “Lizzie, I’m sorry I’m a crap father. I thought if I just loved him enough, I could keep him safe.” He laughed. “Naïve, right? I’m overwhelmed by how much I don’t know about raising a kid.”

Abe was on his fifth beer when a falling star streaked across the sky. He smiled. “Is that you, Lizzie? If anyone could become a falling star, it’s you.” He laid back down on the table and closed his eyes.

“Abe.”

The voice was far away and quite annoying. He just wanted to sleep.

“Abe. Wake up.”

When Wes shook his shoulder, Abe opened his eyes. “Go away, man.” Wes took the half-empty bottle Abe was resting on his stomach, and Abe scowled. “Hey.”

“I think you’ve had enough.” He held out his hand. “Come on. Sit up.”

“Where am I?”

“At Smith River Park.”

Abe took Wes’ hand and let him pull him to a sitting position. “Stupid name. Kind of on the nose.”

Wes looked at him. “What would you have named the park on Smith River?”

Abe shrugged. “I don’t know. Something better, though.” He blinked a few times to try to clear his vision. “Why are you here?” He rubbed his eyes.

“Mom sent me out to look for you.”

“Oh damn. Is she mad?”

“More worried than mad. She might get mad once you get home, though.”