Page 22 of The Bound Zodiac

I stretched my arms over my head, working out the last of the migraine tension. “They’ll have to deal. If there’s even a sliver of a chance of making a portal big enough, strong enough to reach the home worlds… it takes more magic than we have as four. They’re more level-headed than most people give them credit for. They’ll understand. They have to, or else we’re all fucked. And not the fun kind of fucked.”

He didn’t move, just studied me with this odd intensity, like if he stared long enough, he’d see the truth behind my eyes. Truth was, I wasn’t sure how they’d react. Draco I knew for sure would be on board. It was his idea to come here in the first place.

That reminded me… I made a mental note to have a little chat with Draco. It was beyond overdue, and I could be the bigger person and admit I’d been avoiding the inevitable.

He looked away. “But is that what you really want? All of us? You’d want us even if the power wasn’t in play?”

Shit… Is that what they thought? That the only reason I was indulging this whole idea was due to the magical boost I’d get? For a second I considered getting angry about the insinuation. For just a moment, it was like Nightfall all over again, accusing me of manipulating them in order to bond. But I cut off that thought spiral before it could grow. This wasn’t the same situation, and these guys had been hurt badly by a woman who was in it for the power and prestige. Eliza fucked them up, and Nightfall fucked me up.

“I wanted you before I knew about the Order. Before the thought of merging shields even occurred to me.” I shrugged. “Actually, I felt a little guilty about it at first. I already have shield mates, so I had no business wanting any of you. But I can’t help it.”

He closed his eyes, shoulders finally slumping as he let out a long, relieved breath. “I’m bloody glad to hear you say that. You have no idea.”

He turned to face me fully, and my towel suddenly felt about as substantial as tissue paper. He reached up and caught a long strand of my wet hair between his fingers, then let his gaze travel up the entire length of my body as if he was committing every inch to memory.

It did things to my stomach. Hot, inconvenient things.

“So uh, have you always known you’d be in a secret society some day?” My voice came out much breathier than I’d intended, and from the sparkle in Rowan’s blue eyes, I knew he could tell I was nervous.

But why? Why was I nervous? This man had already seen every inch of my naked body back at Dominion, so what was there to freak out about?

Rowan smiled, almost to himself, and tucked the strand behind my ear. “I grew up knowing I’d be in the Order. My grandfather was an elder. He passed away when I was still in training, but he was… I don’t know, legend’s the wrong word. He was the kind of man who made you want to be something. He was a leader. A Scorpio, actually. Married my Capricorn grandmother.”

I watched him, suddenly desperate to know more. I realized I didn’t know much about Rowan’s family, or his life before we met.

“After he died, it was just me and my dad, and he’s not exactly shield material. Never has been. But he’s a scientist, obsessed with cosmic phenomena, always off in Alaska or sometimes even on research trips to the Arctic, tracking bane activity and auroras and magnetic fields. He sends the Order his findings, hoping maybe there was something, anything, that could help us get home, even though without an Ophis it was never really possible.”

“I’m guessing he’s a Scorpio too?” He nodded with a small smile and I chuckled. “My parents are the scholarly type too. Seems to be a trait.”

“He’s always happiest out there. Away from the Assembly, away from the bullshit. When I manifested as a Capricorn like my grandmother and mum, and my powers were obviously potent, he told me I had a choice. Join the Order and train at Imperium, or choose to suppress it and live a quieter life. I already knew what I wanted though. Always had. I joined the Order to keep my grandfather’s legacy alive.”

He sat back against the sofa and took a sip of the coffee that was probably cool now.

“Well I’m certainly glad you decided to join.” I nudged him with my elbow. “What about your dad? Are you two still close?”

“I talk to him as much as I can, though not as much as I should. He thinks the world is about to end, so he spends a lot of time prepping for natural disasters and sending me weird news clippings about black hole collisions and phantom animal behavior. He means well though. It’s always nice to get a satellite call from him.”

I smiled. “He sounds fascinating.”

He was silent for a moment. “When I joined, that’s when I met Phoenix and Jamie. Phoenix’s dad, Malakai, has been an Order elder since his grandfather passed. He practically raised Phoenix on tales of the old worlds. It’s why he knows so much about those plants he’s raising. And after James lost his parents, his uncles took him in. They’re in Malakai’s shield, and so naturally they trained us together.”

“Malakai, the one who owns that antique shop in the village,” I said, remembering the large man that was pretty much a clone of Phoenix.

He nodded. “That’s him. He’s a big fucker, but he’s one of the kindest men I know.”

“Must be where Phoenix gets it from then,” I mused. Phoenix was more gentle than looks gave him credit for. Sure, he was built like a fucking tree, but he was all kindness and good vibes inside. “You love your shield brothers, don’t you?”

It wasn’t uncommon for shield brothers to become more like family than anything. When you risked your lives side by side for years and years, it was natural.

Rowan smiled, eyes flickering to mine. “Once you’re bonded, you can’t really go back to how things were. There are voices in your head now. Lives who rely on you to not mess up. But I do love them. They’re my brothers, and I’d die for any of them. The same way I’d die for you.”

The air between us shifted.

Rowan’s eyes dropped from my face, traveling down slowly, unhurried, like he had all the time in the world and intended to use every second of it, pale blue eyes going darker, heavier. My breathing picked up when his palm landed on my thigh.

“I can’t wait,” he said quietly, “To add you to the bond. To feel you in my head.” His hand slid upward along bare skin where the towel had shifted, and my whole nervous system lit up. He leaned in, close enough that I could smell his soap and the faint warmth of coffee on his breath. “Can you block your connection?”

I knew exactly what he was asking. Nightfall. The bond. Four men sitting somewhere on the other side of my mental walls who would feel every flicker of what I was feeling if I let them.