Page 13 of Hope and Hot Chocolate on Mistletoe Lane

I was so curious about the past ten years of his life. I wondered if he’d ever thought about me through the years like I’d thought about him. It hadn’t seemed like he had, though. ‘He wasn’t very chatty with me in the café, although he did remember my old favourite drink.’

‘Paul is never chatty,’ Dylan said with a laugh.

‘He used to be,’ I said, surprised. The grumpy attitude he’d displayed yesterday hadn’t tallied with the teenager I’d known at all. He’d always made me laugh. ‘I guess people change.’

‘You know you’re right,’ Willow said, tilting her head as she considered it. ‘He did used to be friendlier. He always seems to hate living here but he never leaves so we all just think it’s a quirk now. Maybe you can bring the old Paul Ryan back.’

I shook my head. ‘I don’t think he’d appreciate that; he didn’t seem excited to catch up with me. I could try again, I guess. There’s no way I can stop myself from going into the café while I’m here for more sweet treats.’

‘It’s impossible to not want to do that,’ Willow agreed.

I thought about Paul seeming so different to how he had been years ago. It made me wonder why. And if the old Paul Ryan could come back.

I felt bad all over again for closing off our friendship. It wasn’t his fault I’d hoped for more and then been terrified of it. We had been so close once. Hanging out with each other at school and then at his parents’ café afterwards. He’d stuck up for me when people made comments about my family. We’d studied together and got through our exams with coffee and laughter. We’d avoided prom, having a scary movie night instead. I wondered if he ever thought back on those times fondly like I did. Especially when I was alone in my city apartment, unable to sleep worrying about my business. Good memories helped me then. And memories of the two of us were good ones.

Ten years ago, I had been scared to tell him how much he meant to me. And if we had become more than friends, I would never have left Birchbrook. I was terrified we’d end up like my parents. Paul hadn’t known any of that, though. He just saw me as his best friend who ditched him for a new life in the city. He likely thought I was a bitch now. If he even thought about me at all.

Regret rolled over me in waves. I had been young and hurt and decided staying away from Birchbrook was the best thing for me. Now I was older, I could see that I hadn’t handled things in the best way. Even if Paul had forgotten all about it, I wanted to try to make some amends with him while I was back. For those kids we had once been.

And what Willow said had made me worry. Paul hadn’t been reserved or grumpy when I’d known him. What had happened since then? What if he needed a friend? I didn’t have Georgia around so I definitely could do with a friend here. There was no prospect of anything romantic between us anyway so I didn’t need to worry like I had when I was younger. I had decided years ago that I’d never tell him I had longed for more than friendship so I’d stick to that and try to make friends again with Paul Ryan.

11

PAUL

‘I messaged Willow to say we’d bring the café van to her winter wonderland,’ Mum informed me and dad in the morning before we opened up the café. We always had a quick meeting to make sure everything was in place for a good day of business. I tried to hide my yawn. I’d slept badly thinking about what I was going to do. ‘Paul didn’t seem keen but the pumpkin patch brought us record profits in autumn so we’d be foolish to miss out on being at Willow’s winter wonderland.’

‘That’s a mouthful,’ I commented dryly.

Mum arched an eyebrow. ‘What is going on with you? I thought you’d be happy to have your old friend Holly back in town. You really don’t want to work at the winter wonderland she’s going to create?’

That was the question in a nutshell. I had been tossing and turning until all hours wondering why Holly’s return was affecting me quite so much. I just didn’t want to admit the answer, even to myself.

I sighed. ‘I guess I’ve been feeling restless, like things are always the same here,’ I admitted.

‘Sounds like they’ll be different this festive season,’ my dad said. He eyed me shrewdly like he knew more about my thoughts than I wanted him to. I shifted in the chair. I hated the thought of letting them down. Even though I complained about people, they were the best of them. ‘If you need to make changes, son, you know we’d understand. Small-town living has been enough for us. Maybe it’s not enough for you.’

My mum glanced at him in surprise then looked at me. ‘Is there something you want to tell us?’ she asked more gently.

There was a beat of silence as we looked at one another. This could have been my moment. But Holly’s face flashed through my mind. It was stupid to be thinking about her right now but I couldn’t help it. I shook my head once. I didn’t need to leave right now. Maybe it would make more sense to do it in the New Year. A fresh start and all that. I leaned back in my chair. ‘It’s fine. I’ll work the winter wonderland. Like you say, it’ll be good for profits.’ I could leave the café in the best possible shape in January. That felt like a nice way to end my years working here. I glanced around the café as my dad ran through the menu for the day. This place was part of me. My parents had owned it my whole life. My mum used to have me in my pram while she worked. Freshly baked muffins were probably my first smell. That’s what had always stopped me from leaving. It ran in my blood.

My mum got up then to open up the door as the first signs of sunrise crept in. Soon, it would be full of people on their way to work and then to school, coming in for a caffeine fix or to take away something to eat later on.

‘You were so down after Holly left,’ my dad said quietly so Mum couldn’t hear. ‘Maybe having her back might help you make some decisions.’

‘Decisions?’

‘About how to change this restless feeling you’ve got. We’ll support you in whatever you choose, son, I hope you know that.’ He got up then and headed for the counter to turn on the coffee machine and get a fresh batch of muffins out of the oven.

I stayed in my seat for a second as his words echoed around me. Then the bell on the door jangled and I had to shake off my thoughts about my future and start the day’s work.

As though we had manifested her by talking about her, the second customer to walk through the door was Holly herself.

My back stiffened as she walked in. I couldn’t help but notice that she was dressed far more casually than yesterday. She wore leggings tucked into chunky boots with a long cream jumper and a wool coat.

‘Morning, Paul,’ she said, smiling warmly at me before scanning the food under the counter. ‘I woke up early. Maybe I’m not used to the peace and quiet here yet so I thought I’d get some breakfast before I head out with Willow to buy supplies. What do you recommend?’

‘These are my favourite,’ I said, pointing to the almond croissants I’d made first thing this morning.