Page 55 of Cartel Devil

“Do your parents know yet? Does Sera?”

“No. Only Joaquin and I do. Elle suspects something. We’re waiting to tell our families since we still have stuff to—to figure out. But I want to see a doctor sooner rather than later. I want—want—to—to make an informed decision.”

I stumble over my words, suddenly nervous to suggest I might make the opposite decision Paola did when she got pregnant with Carmine at nineteen. She was unwed and just having fun with Cesare Ciccone. Their parents forced them to marry, and it was a match made in hell. Once Carmine left for college, they separated. Best thing to ever happen to them besides having Carmine. They’re practically besties now that they don’t live under the same roof.

“Tricia, I know it’s a different situation. I’ll support whatever you decide. What does he say?”

She doesn’t hide her disgust. I suppose saying Joaquin’s name once was more than enough acknowledgment for one day.

“He’s encouraging me to decide, and he’ll accept whatever I want.”

“You believe that?”

“Yes, Paola, I do. I’m not new to syndicate life. I know, just like you do, how they lie. There’s not even the most subtle pressure to decide one way or another. It’s truly up to me. I actually wish he would state a preference. It’s not that I feel alone or feel like he’s disinterested. I just don’t want to decide all alone something that affects him as much as it does me.”

“Does it affect him just as much?”

“Of course. Paola, just like Cesare never would’ve let you raise Carmine alone, even if you hadn’t married, Joaquin would never abandon me. I know you heard about what happened when someone accused Alejandro of being a deadbeat dad. If you’d heard about it in time, you would’ve gone into battle with the Diaz women. So would Sylvia, Carlotta, and Nicoletta. The bratva and mob moms would’ve driven you. The one thing these men never ever do is neglect their children. To imply they would is the one thing that can unify all the mothers across the syndicates. That accusation is one step too far.”

It’s true. Most syndicate mothers wouldn’t give a fuck what happens to a rival. If the guy dies, he should’ve paid more attention or moved faster. But to suggest any son would be so dishonorable as to neglect a child brings out a level of defensiveness that makes the threat of nuclear war look like a children’s squabble. Maybe I’ll fully understand that protectiveness when I become a mother, whenever that might be. Right now, I can only guess what it’s like to have emotions that strong that they could put aside generations of hatred.

“You care about him already.”

Again, another statement not a question.

“I do.”

Paola sighs. It’s not dramatic. It’s just acceptance.

“I suppose you could do worse.”

“Thanks.”

My comment’s dry, and she chuckles. I wasn’t aiming for funny, but I suppose it’s better than a lecture.

“I’ll text you a name and number. Give me five minutes, then call. They’ll get you in today if you can make it.”

“I can. Thank you.”

“Anything for you, Tricia. If you decide this isn’t what you want—the baby or Joaquin—come to me again. I’ll help you. I know you’re close to Elodie, and she’s a Diaz, but come to me. For this sort of thing, I know people she doesn’t. Bring her with you if you want, but I’ll make the arrangements.”

I can only imagine what that would be like. Me on an examination table with Elle to my left and Paola to my right, them glaring across the table while holding my hands to comfort me. At least, I can say I’m loved down here just like I am in Boston.

“I will.”

“I’ll keep your secret, Tricia. But you know it’ll come out. Have you heard from your father or uncle yet?”

“No. Do they know about Joaquin?”

“I don’t know, but I can’t imagine how they wouldn’t. You spent the entire reception talking to him. People saw you leave together. You’ve been spending time with the Diazes. Someone’s bound to have said something.”

“Someone in your family?”

“Maybe. I honestly don’t know. But you know your father has men here to watch you. I’m certain he’s asked Salvatore and Massimo to keep an eye on you too. There are probably Mancinelli men assigned to you.”

“I’m pretty sure there are. I’ve sensed them even if I haven’t recognized them.”

Fuck my life.