Page 24 of Cartel Devil

If I’d just let the guards encircle us like they would’ve, then it wouldn’t have happened the way it did. They still would’ve ambushed us, but we wouldn’t have gotten separated from some of the guards. We wouldn’t have been forced into an alley to hide, leaving only Papá and a couple of our men to protect my brothers and me. There wouldn’t have been so few men to help us get into the vehicle. Men would’ve protected Papá while he protected us. Instead, he gave his life so we could have ours.

I was too young to protect Papá, but I swore that day that there was no limit to what I would do to protect Mamá and my brothers. When we moved to the States, that protection included my tías, tíos, and primos—aunts, uncles, and cousins. I prefer to be neither seen nor heard because it means I can see and hear more. I don’t like to stick out, but I always have. My height, my looks, my wealth, my position. All of it draws attention to me, and I hate it.

Since that day, it’s a compulsion to watch what’s going on around me, and that guilt drove the chattiness out of me at ten years old. The weight of my self-imposed obligations along with the ones my position force upon me means I have little to no bandwidth for small talk, which I’m clearly useless at.

“Tía, what if being with me makes her a target too?”

“Mijo, you have to work through this, or you will let the love of your life walk past you.” She pauses to cup my cheek. “If it’s guilt that motivates you, then think about it this way. Do you want to be the reason that young lady doesn’t find the love of her life?”

Tía lets that land, knowing it would sound fucked-up to most people, but it’s probably the best way to motivate me to pull my head out of my ass. She pats my hand before she heads into the house. I stare out at the ocean.

Chapter Six

Tre

“Hello.”

“Hi. It’s Joaquin.”

I didn’t recognize the number, but something compelled me to answer. He’s the last person I expected on the other end. It’s been two weeks since that disastrous dinner. I got the feeling from Toria that he’s been out of town during that time, having left the day after the dinner. Five weeks in all since we met and had the most amazing night of sex. Then had the most awful morning after.

“Hi.”

Um…

“Alejandro and Toria are going to a movie tonight. They suggested you might enjoy it.”

I wait for him to say more. Like invite me. But the line remains quiet.

“That sounds nice.”

That sounds dumb. But what else am I supposed to say? Did one of them force him to call me? Why’s he telling me this if he isn’t going to ask me to go with him?

“Do you like going to the movies?”

He called to chat?

“Yes. Movie theater popcorn is an indulgence I don’t have often.”

“It’s a comedy. You said you enjoy those the other night.”

“I do.”

This conversation is like pulling teeth. At least he remembered something from that night besides me offering cupcakes the next morning.

“They’re going to the nine o’clock showing.”

Huh?

“Is it their date night?”

“Sort of. They suggested a double date.”

I’m still waiting for the invitation. Am I supposed to ask him?

The conversation—if you can even call it that—lags. This is as painful as dinner. It’s completely different from how easy we were together at the reception. It’s like waiting for a middle school boy to ask a girl on a date.

“Would you like to go, Tre?”