Page 153 of The Worst of Them

He didn’t smile as he spoke those last words, letting them fall heavily between them. He meant what he said, and she tried to keep her breathing steady as she was overwhelmed by this sudden shift in attitude.

“I need you to know I am grateful,” he continued. “And you have won me over despite my protests and the way I’ve treated you. I was wrong. You are one of the best pirates I’ve ever had in my company. One I dread to lose.”

She nearly told him she was here to say, obviously, but she didn’t get the chance as he said, “But I need you to go.”

Cecily stopped herself before she could laugh, because she’d misheard him. She was so tired. But then she was hit by the ridiculousness of such a request and burst into laughter anyway.

Copson didn’t so much as crack a smile. Regret shadowed his eyes as he held her gaze, and her laughter ebbed.

“You…you’re serious,” she said.

“I am.”

Her smile fell. “You’re asking me to leave.” She shook her head when he didn’t refute it. Her thoughts buffeted, tossing her between so many questions as to why, why now, why after he’d said all those things? “I couldn’t. I won’t.”

He didn’t look angry or petulant—only remorseful as he said, “I won’t command you, Cecily. But if you care about Jack, you’ll leave. You’ll go far away, start the new life you fought so hard for, and forget him.”

She gave another incredulous laugh. She knew why he asked this of her, the truth he skated around. If he was determined to keep it a secret, she’d bring it out in the open if only as a card to play against him—because apparently their game wasn’t finished. “Because I’m unsuitable for your secret, well-born life on land?”

Shock flashed through his eyes, but he concealed it just as quickly. He released a slow breath, quieter than a sigh but equally resolved.

“Did you think it was hard to guess?” she asked, her voice low to keep it from wobbling. This was perhaps the only way she might convince Copson she was worthy. He couldn’t be rid of her if she held knowledge of their dangerous secret. “You raised your son well. As much as he is a pirate, he’s also something else entirely. I know him.”

His eyes darkened. “What exactly do you think you know?”

“Enough,” she said. “I know why he chose me, and that he was intentional to do so.”

She expected him to laugh, but he only pursed his lips. “Because he loves you,” he said, and there was unexpected tenderness in his voice. “And you love him.”

“I do. And I was raised for a life like that. I would have been a baroness—I can be the wife of a gentleman.”

His eyes squeezed. “A gentleman,” he repeated.

“That’s why you think me unsuitable, isn’t it?” she dared to ask. “Because I’m common.”

“That is not what makes you unsuitable,” Copson said, as though her station had never even occurred to him. “But for as well as I think of you, for as much as everyone does, it doesn’t change the fact that slaying sea monsters does not translate to a ballroom floor. You are simply not made for a life like ours, and no claim to love will ever change that.”

She thought of his wife and how she had wished to have no ties to piracy. This wasn’t the same, but his mind was made up.

“I want this life,” she said slowly, “no matter what being a Copson entails, for surely I’ve already seen the worst of it. I want nothing other than what I’ve found with Jack, regardless of where that is and what it looks like.”

Copson’s voice grew harder. “This has got nothing to do with what you want. It’s only what’s best for Jack and best for you.”

“What’s best for me!” she burst out. “I have what’s best, and I won’t forsake it. Jack is my family. You’re my family, no matter how much you may dislike it.”

Copson shook his head. “I don’t dislike you, Cecily. But your supposed marriage with Jack is a drunken mistake, one with consequences you haven’t even considered.”

It felt like a slap. She released a hissing breath. “Yes, we were drunk, but we still chose to keep our vows when we were sober. He loves me and I love him.”

“You think I don’t?” His voice lacked the severity she’d come to know so well. “No matter how much you fancy one another or how passionate you may claim your love to be, I know him best. Trust me that I am only trying to spare you both, and if you stay, you will destroy him. Whatever life you think you’re so well prepared for is not real, and you will be destroyed as well.”

There was a knock at the door, but neither of them looked away from each other as it opened and a pirate stuck his head in. “Captain,” he said. “We need you a moment.”

“I’ll be there,” Copson replied. When the door shut, he said to Cecily, “I’ll keep my word—I won’t command you to leave. But take a moment to consider.”

He bowed his head—like a true gentleman. Like he respected her and hadn’t just flayed her with declarations about what she could and couldn’t handle, about what was best for her.

Without another word, he strode from the room.