Page 88 of Derivation
Gabi laughed.
“The branches go over the fence and into the neighbor’s yard now, but I’m still here. I don’t have, I don’t know, more branches or a family, or even the super successful career that I thought I’d have by now.”
“Sarai…”
“It’s fine.”
“Why do you keep coming out here if it just makes you think those things? Which are not true, by the way.”
“They are, though. I’m… single. I still live here. I–”
“You have a family. You live with them. And you have a successful career. You’re about to move into a new office space. It might not look how you thought it would back when you made your plan, but it never does. And, honestly, you’re kind of single right now by choice.” Gabi looked over at the tree. “Not because there’s no interest.”
“I had this vision for my life, Gabi.”
“We all do. Do you think I planned on moving back to the US after my dad died? Getting a job in software when I’d planned on hardware after school? Hell, moving in here with the three of you? I never even thought I’d see you again. I’m here now, though, and it feels like this is exactly where I’m supposed to be.”
“But you want to move out.”
“I don’t want to move out. I want to be with you.” She turned a little toward her but kept them swinging. “You said me living here made it complicated. If that’s true, I’ll move out.”
“Just like that?”
“Well, no. I would have to find a new place to live and break my lease here, but–”
“No, I meant that you’re willing to do that for the possibility of us?”
Gabi smiled and replied, “Sarai, I cried on the train.”
“What?”
“When I left Amsterdam to go back to Paris, I cried on the train. I had the rest of this amazing gap-year trip coming up, but all I could think about was how I’d just left you in Amsterdam. I had to lean against the window so that no one would see.”
“You cried?”
“Why are you smiling at that?” Gabi laughed.
“Sorry. I didn’t know that. I guess–”
“It gives you a nice ego boost to think about me crying after saying goodbye to you?”
“No?” Sarai asked more than said, which only made Gabi laugh more.
“Sarai, I really don’t see us living in the same house as a big deal, but if you do, I’ll move out. It’s as simple as that. I don’t want to move. I like living here. But I like you more.”
“What if we go on a date and it goes horribly wrong?”
“How would that even happen? What could go so wrong that we can’t still be friends or roommates?”
“I don’t know.”
“So, probably nothing, then.”
“The only real risk I’ve ever taken in my life was on this company.”
“What?”
Sarai looked at her and said, “I had that plan, and I was going to follow it, but then, we had the idea for this thing, and it’s been so long… I know things are happening now, but it’s hard, taking the risk and not going to work for another company, where I would be making serious money by now and have a solid 401(k) plan and good health benefits, along with at least an apartment or house of my own even if I was still renting it.”
