Page 80 of Derivation
“Still do,” she confessed with a little laugh. “And I like that she gets in her head sometimes. She cares so much about things, and I do, too. I couldn’t market whatever I build, but I love working on it, and I know she’ll love marketing it. She loves all of you and tends to put everyone else first over herself, which is why she never takes the breaks she should.”
“She’s like that, yes,” Violet agreed.
“And she scrunches up her nose when she’s deep in her thoughts. She’ll stare out at nothing, and I don’t get it, but I kind of want to sit next to her and stare out at nothing with her.”
“You know what I think?”
“Sure.”
“I don’t think you’re the one to sit and stare with her,” Violet pointed out. “From what I’ve noticed, you’re the one who helps pull her out of it. I think that’s more important because it’s something that most of the time, none of us can do. Look, when she was in college, she had this vision of her life. We all did. We had these plans for ourselves. Mine had been made for me, but I was supposed to join my family’s company. For Sarai, it was going into marketing.”
“She told me.”
“She was going to get some entry-level job and work her way up to CMO at a big tech company. Her goal was to be a VP by the time she was thirty, and she wanted the C-Suite by thirty-two. Then, we were all sitting around one night, Enya spoke up, and we decided to go for this thing that has taken years and years to pick up. She’s already thirty-three, and while she is technically a CMO, that doesn’t count in her mind because, outside of an intern, she doesn’t have anyone to manage or a team to grow. She blames herself. We all do.”
“For what?”
“For the slow progression of the business,” Violet explained. “I blame myself because I’m the CEO, and the buck stops with me. Enya blames herself because she worries her idea wasn’t unique enough to make any real money. Arlowe blames herself because she can’t code it all any faster. Sarai blames herself because she doesn’t think that she’s had good enough ideas to market and sell the thing. Yes, we’re about to move into a real office soon, and that’s a massive step for us, but we all think that it should’ve happened, like, eight years ago or something. I’m telling you this not to make this conversation about work, but to explain that I think Sarai needs someone like you in her life. You make her stand up from that swing and come in for the meeting where she can share her ideas. You got her to trust herself a little bit more.”
“I’m glad,” Gabi replied. “But I asked her out, and she said no, so I don’t know what else to do. I thought of moving out because it would give us a little space if something does go wrong, which I don’t think it will. I just have this feeling that…”
“It’s supposed to be the two of you?”
Violet smiled at her.
“Yeah,” she said wistfully. “Is that crazy?”
“No. You feel what you feel. And, for what it’s worth, she liked you back then, too. She just kept telling us that you were too young for her as a way to get us to stop making fun of her.”
Gabi chuckled and replied, “We talked about that, too. I just want us to try.”
“Well, how about this… I’ll let you out of the lease if you give Sarai a little time to do what she needs to do.”
“How long will that be?”
“We never know, but it won’t be forever. You give her a little time to figure it out, and if you still want to move out, you just check with the three of them. If they’re good with it, I won’t stop you.”
“I’d have to ask Sarai if I could break my lease?”
“You planned on fleeing in the middle of the night and not telling her that you were moving out?”
“No, my plan was to ask you, and if you said yes, I’d tell her that I’m moving out, so we could try this thing we both want to try.”
“Sorry, I can’t help you there. Arlowe, Enya, and Sarai are the ones who live here, so they would have to cover your portion of the rent.”
“Yeah, I should’ve thought about that. I’m sorry I had you come over. Sounds like you could’ve just stayed home and slept in with your girlfriend.”
“No, I would’ve jumped her bones and woken her up, and she needs her sleep. We were up late last night, arguing about what color to paint the living room, and, well, you can probably guess what happened after that, since I know they all make fun of me, but Stella and I have the best chemistry in the bedroom, so I am not apologizing for it.”
“I want that,” Gabi replied.
“Chemistry in the bedroom?”
“Yes. I’ve had good sex, but not exactly great.”
“Think it will be great with Sarai?”
“I have no idea,” she replied, laughing. “And it’s not a given. She has to agree to go out with me first because I’m not someone who just sleeps with someone else. No offense.”
