Page 54 of Derivation

“Maybe that’s because you haven’t had one since, so it’s all they can talk about.”

“I’ve had relationships since Eline. They were short, and I’ve mostly dated – maybe you’d call it slept around – but I have dated.”

“Have you been in love since?”

“No,” Arlowe admitted.

“That’s all they’ve seen, then: you loving one person and you not loving anyone else since. Probably why they think you still love her.”

“I’ll always love Eline. A part of me will, at least. I’m sure she’s a totally different person now, and I’ve changed, too, but she was my first love, you know?”

Gabi looked out the back window of the house and saw Sarai standing in the yard, talking to Stella and Jen.

“Yeah, I know.”

“What about you and love?” Arlowe asked.

“What?”

Gabi turned back to her, surprised by the question.

“I assume you’ve been in love before.”

“Oh, yeah. Sure, I guess.”

“You guess?” Arlowe chuckled.

“I told my high school girlfriend that I loved her, but I don’t know that that qualifies because we were so young. I told a couple of other girlfriends that, too.”

“Why do you sound like you’re not convinced that you actually loved them? You keep saying that you told them, not that you loved them.”

“I think I did. It’s hard to say, you know?”

“No, it’s not,” Arlowe argued. “I loved Eline. I would’ve married her at twenty-two and moved to Amsterdam, but she wouldn’t let me.”

“I thought you had things to do here, and–”

“My point is that I loved her so much, I would’ve given anything to be with her. I didn’t need to finish college. I mean, it would’ve helped a little, I guess, but I’m self-taught just fine. I could’ve quit school or taken my final semester online, or even later. And I would have had she wanted me to stay.”

“She didn’t want you to stay?”

“She did, but we were between a rock and a hard place. She didn’t want me to give up my life, and I didn’t want her to give up hers. That’s love. I’d never felt anything like it before or since. So, I think you’d know if you were ever really in love with anyone. It’s hard to miss.” Arlowe looked around the kitchen. “Hey, I don’t think I’m up for a party anymore now that I’ve had that sandwich I wanted, so I think I’m going to go find Enya. She should be ready to leave.”

“You’re going home?” Gabi asked and set her plate down on the food table.

“Yeah, I’m all partied out this week, I think.”

“Can I get a ride with you?”

“What about Sarai? She drove you.”

“She’s talking to Stella and Jen.” She hooked her thumb toward the backyard. “So, I think she’s good.”

“Hey,” Enya said, walking in at just the right moment.

“Hey, I’m going to head out,” Arlowe told her. “I assume you’re ready to go?”

“I’m leaving with Arlowe, too,” Gabi shared.