Page 129 of Derivation

Gabi ran her hand under Sarai’s T-shirt and pressed it against her skin, causing Sarai to close her eyes for a second from feeling that Gabi calm wash over her. They’d been dating for maybe a month, but Sarai knew. She was also pretty sure that she had known it back in Amsterdam, too, but she hadn’t been able to acknowledge it enough to do anything about it. That had her thinking about Arlowe, who had gone for it with Eline, the woman she’d loved and probably still very much did. Arlowe had been aimless in her love life since she’d said goodbye to Eline, and as Sarai looked into Gabi’s eyes, she realized that she had been as well. None of her previous relationships had amounted to much. She’d always put work over them, and when each one of them had ended, it had been hard, yes, but not devastating how it had been when Arlowe had left Eline in the Netherlands. Sarai knew that if she lost Gabi, though, it would be devastating, and, in a way, it had been eleven years ago, too.

“So, you’re going back to Paris first, and then, where?” Enya asked as she stood on the tram, facing Gabi and Sarai, who were sitting in the only available seats for the ride to the train station.

“Berlin for a weekend,” Gabi replied. “Then, Munich. After that, back to Paris for my mom’s birthday before I hit up a few more places in Europe.”

“That’s great. Sounds like a lot of fun. Right, Sarai?”

“Huh?” Sarai asked.

She’d been staring out the window, watching Amsterdam pass them by, thinking about how she and Gabi had eaten lunch at one of those restaurants the previous day. Soon, though, Gabi would be gone, and it shouldn’t have bothered her this much that they wouldn’t be having lunch there again.

“Oh, yeah. Fun,” she replied, offering a forced smile.

“I know you all have school, but I’m traveling by myself, and I have hotel rooms booked for most of the places because my dad hated the hostel idea,” Gabi shared. “Anyway, there’s space in my room if you want to go somewhere, see it before you go home.”

“I have a lot of schoolwork to do, and I’ve already gone to Ireland for a week during our break,” Enya said. “Plus, I’ve gone on some small trips. So, I feel like I’ve done a little traveling.”

“Enya has picked up two more languages since being here,” Sarai said to change the subject.

“Really?”

“Not exactly,” Enya replied.

Then, the tram halted, and Sarai realized that they were at their stop. Her heart rate picked up, and her breathing changed from slow and steady to fast and not at all steady.

“We’re here,” she said before she stood up and picked up Gabi’s bag for her, slinging it over her own shoulder.

They hurried off the tram, and as they waited for the light to change, Sarai stared at the massive train station in front of her, feeling a sense of dread hit her. They didn’t say anything as they walked across the street and left Enya with some tourist asking for directions, and they didn’t say anything as they stared up at the screens, trying to find the track for Gabi’s train since she already had her ticket. It wasn’t until they got to where Gabi would have to scan that ticket to proceed to the track that Sarai opened her mouth.

“So, I had fun this weekend,” she said lamely and handed Gabi her bag.

“Me too. Thank you so much,” Gabi replied and was the one who leaned in for the hug.

Sarai hugged her back but kept it loose instead of going in for the tight, long hug she wanted.

“I should…” Gabi faded out as she hooked her thumb toward the tracks when they parted.

“Yeah, don’t want to miss it.”

“We’ll text.”

“Yeah. Let me know–”

“When I’m home. I will,” Gabi promised.

“Okay. Well, safe travels. Have a fun trip.”

“Thanks,” Gabi replied and gave her a small smile before she turned to go.

Sarai stood there, watching after her until Gabi had disappeared on the staircase, and she remained standing in place, looking up at the schedule screen that showed that the train had arrived and then, had departed. She wasn’t sure why she continued to watch the staircase after that, but she did so for a few minutes. Maybe it was because she’d hoped that Gabi would come back up and tell her that she’d take a later train, or that she could stay for longer. Sarai took a second to shake herself out of that because that was ridiculous, let out a deep breath, pictured Gabi’s smile in her mind, pushed it away, and finally turned around and walked out of the station and toward Enya, who was waiting for her outside.

Sarai looked over at Enya, who was sitting on the other sofa next to Mitchell and Clay. Enya looked back at her and gave her a smile with a wink before she nodded over toward Gabi. Sarai smiled and gave her a small nod back, which made Enya’s smile grow.

“You’re amazing,” Gabi whispered into Sarai’s ear before she kissed her on the neck. “Just try to enjoy this.”

“Huh?” she asked.

Gabi nodded toward the TV.