Page 147 of The Knucker King

“I would like that, thank you.”

Avice would enjoy learning to swim, but the revelations about the Spriggan gnawed at her. She wanted so much to join Trewoofe in his Kingdom. To make choices that would bring her happiness and give her what she dreamed. Then, part of her felt hollow. She did not know who she was without being in service to others. If that part of her was gone… then who was she?

Trewoofe pressed Avice close to his chest with the underside of his chin. She was tense against his scales, her whirling thoughts not giving her a moments peace.

“I can tell there is something on your mind,” Trewoofe observed. “Would you like to share it with me?”

Avice nodded against his smooth scales. “I feel guilty.”

“You will have to give me more than that, little witch,” he chuffed, squeezing her closer.

“I was planning on leaving it all behind,” she explained. “To leave Lamorna, coming with you to the Underneath, going where I was welcome—”

“And wanted,” he purred. “Very much wanted.”

“Yes.” She pushed her forehead hard against him, trying to force the thoughts from her mind. “But I feel guilty for it. Now we know that it is probably the Spriggan, I feel like I should help. Like I should do something. I also feel ashamed that I had planned on abandoning my mothers and babies.”

Avice could hear Trewoofe’s mighty heart pick up into a frantic pace, and more guilt pricked at her. Did he think that meant she no longer wanted to come with him to the Underneath? That was the one thing she knew she wanted.

“To be clear, I am still intent on coming with you tomorrow,” she babbled to reassure him. “It is more than I ever thought I would have. Our friendship blossoming as it did and turning into a courtship… Being with you… I have never wanted anything more.”

His heartbeat slowed. “I could stay with you in the cottage,” he said. “That way we can be together, and you can continue to look after your mothers and babies.”

Avice melted at his offer. She wished she could say yes, but she knew it was not right. She remembered how he was too big for her home. The way he banged his horns when he stood straight, how he had to hunch and shuffle just to move. Then how he struggled with keys, spoons, and stockings. Mostly, she knew how vital he was for the harmony and safety of his Kingdom.

“I cannot say yes to that,” she said. “You are too important to your subjects.”

“You are important too, Avice.” He pulled away from her and lowered his head so they were eye-to-eye. He looked so earnest, so raw, that she nearly burst into tears. “What is it you want?”

“I want you. I want for the four of us to be happy together in the Underneath,” she replied impulsively. “To learn to swim…” She was on a roll now, voicing all the desires she had never admitted to. “I want to still be helpful to others with my medicines, to figure out why the Spriggan are doing this and stop them, to learn to read…”

Trewoofe chuckled at her enthusiasm, and she realised no one had ever asked her what she wanted before. She had always done what generations of Gardener women had done before her. Witches, healers, midwives, apothecaries, Faerie-speakers, and sight-havers. All of them – every single one of them – had suffered for the land and people they served.

It had been worth it.

Once.

When they were honoured, treated kindly, and welcomed into hearth and home.

That reverence had ended long before Avice’s time, and now she was offered meagre scraps of civility and consideration. When the women of Lamorna did show kindness, it was out of sight of others, when none could look down on them disapprovingly.

“What does it mean to ‘learn to read’?”

She spoke excitedly, her face warm despite the chill of the water. “It is when humans mark the words they speak onto a material. When they do so, it means that others can understand their thoughts without ever having to hear it spoken aloud!”

Trewoofe blinked down at her. “The Wulver have that. Little markings on thin pieces of animal hide. They fold them up and store them in thick leather wraps.”

Avice bounced on the balls of her feet. “Do you think they can teach me?!”

“I am sure they would. They are going to love you,” Trewoofe purred. “As for the other things you mentioned, I know my mind is not as sharp as yours, but may I offer some ideas?” She nodded in response, still trembling at the prospect of learning to read. “First, the medicines. Many of my subjects are aging or elderly, and I am sure your cures would bring them comfort. Healing waters aid with much, and have extended their lives, but your herbs would help.”

“My mothers and babies though?” she asked.

It felt good to Avice to be able to share her ideas and concerns with another. To ease the burden of being a midwife, healer, and apothecary from her drooping shoulders.

“Are any of the women of Lamorna pregnant right now?”

She shook her head. “None as far as I know.”