Page 94 of End Game
“I’m not hungry for food.”
He raises his eyebrows. “Oh?”
It’s bubbling up inside of me. We’ve never taken this step before. We’ve never really even acknowledged that it could potentially one day maybe exist. And now here I am, about to throw a wrench in our beautiful, perfect friendship.
I sigh. “You’re going to say no.”
“Why am I going to say no?”
“Because I know you.”
“So then maybe you shouldn’t ask.” His Adam’s apple bobs in his throat. “What do you want to ask me?”
“I need you,” I tell him.
“You have me, Dee. Forever.”
A thrill runs through me. This is so deliciously forbidden, so deliciously against the rules of our friendship. Still, I have to push. I have to try.
“Can I suck your dick?”
He drops his cheese stick. “Jesus!”
“Please. I need… I need a distraction. And it would get me out of my head.” I’m almost begging now.
In the other room, Wes snaps his book shut. It takes him two tries to heave himself out of his chair, and then he speed-walks to his room and slams the door.
We’re alone now.
“I need something that will force me to get out of my brain,” I try to explain. “I don’t want to get drunk because then I’ll have a hangover, and I’m not trying to have a hangover while I visit my dad in the fucking ICU. I want to have one more drink, maybe two, and then I want someone to shove their dick so far down my throat I can’t breathe or hurt or think. Ideally, your dick.”
I trust him. He’s not going to take advantage of me. If anything, I’m the one taking advantage. He’s not going to abuse me or mistreat me. If anything, our friendship might get a little awkward once I’ve sucked his cock.
We can handle awkward. What I can’t handle is being in my own skin right now.
Barrett’s face is beet red. “Jesus, Diana.”
But I notice he adjusts himself in his jeans.
“Please. It wouldn’t—it doesn’t have to change anything.”
He pushes past me, out of the kitchen and up the stairs. I give him a three second head start before I follow him up the stairs and into his room. He locks the door behind me with a click that sounds ominous in the quiet room.
“This would change everything,” he says quietly.
“It doesn’t have to.”
His eyes rise to meet mine. “You seriously want to… to suck me off?”
I nod. “I need to focus on something other than how much my heart hurts. Please. It can be as messy as you want, you can pull on my hair. You can even come in my mouth. I… please.”
“Jesus.” He looks away, his face red, but I notice an impressive bulge beginning to form in the crotch of his jeans. I can’t look away. I’m staring openly at his dick now. “This doesn’t feel right.”
“Why not?”
“Because.”
“That’s not a reason.”
